I feel so confused sometimes. I just cant seem to figure things out. Right now im convinced my bf is gaslighting me. Which is extremely manipulative. I feel like he tends to spin things around back onto me and make everything my fault. Like he putposefulky does and says things he knows will hurt me. Which only frustrates me more and im so depressed. I just cant figure out whats going on. Is he really bad for me, he does some nice things for me. Right now im convinced its only cause he wants to control me and his love he has for me is a lie. Cause how can he want to hurt me if he loves me? Im so confused mt head hurts. I want to relax and enjoy my time but i feel like im always o edge and i cant trust him.
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Am i being unreasonable to think this or could i be right … im so confused.
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I was in a very similar situation, but he left me. and it was his choice. it’s a super huge story that I’m not gonna tell, but after it all, I’m sort of convinced it WAS all my fault… maybe i did cause everything. definitely not saying that’s what it’s like for you, but I’m not even allowing myself to get into another relationship because I’m not gonna let anything like that happen again.
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Look at the situation again and ask yourself again. Still feel like it’s not right? Then it isn’t. I feel like people with Sz and related disorders are quick to doubt themselves because they’ve suffered delusions. If you thought that your boyfriend was a three headed horsepig, then I might encourage you to let go of it.
If he wants to control you without your consent then it might be an abusive relationship. If he makes you feel bad then he’s probably not good for you. It’s up to you to decide if you think it’s worth it.
Its hard to say sometimes though cause this isnt the first time ive thought similar things with people around me. I can be a very diffi ult person to deal with on a daily basis so its harf to know if its him reacting to a stressful situation or doing it purlosefully. Or theres always the fact that im looking to hard into things… im just confused cause i feel like im not sure if i should trust myself all the time. Am i just over reacting. I mean to him it seems like i make a big deal out of everything but everything matters and everything is connected. I just dont know anymore.
Yea i cant tell what is my being caused by internal factors and what is external factors. So i get confused and frustrated. I cant trust anyone and think all the things they say are meant to hurt me. So im not sure if um right or just being irrational again.
That happens to me a lot. I try to write down the things people say to me and analyse it and ask for other people’s opinions (mostly my mum)
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How can u decipher what is an overreaction and what is appropriate? Am i just creating a whole scenario in my head or is there truth to what im saying and thinking? He encourages me to go to councelling and see my psychiatrist and will even pay for it. He says nice things too i believe but its hard for me to rmember them. He can also just have bad days and react due to frustration. So am i making something that isnt there? Or am i picking up on slight details that no one else has noticed. Confusing this life is.
Yea i talk to friends but they only hear my side. So i tell them what im percieving to be correct. Then they tell me what they think. But if my perceptions are wrong then cluld i be causing damage to a relationship i enjoy… i feel like everyone and everything is bad and im being led in so many different directions and i dont know where to go or what makes the most sense is accurate.
I can’t really. I just try and mostly fail. But a lot of abusive people can be caring too.
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Yea this is true thats why its so confusing. What to do. What ti think. I have no idea. All i can hipe for is that soon the mist will clear and i will know.
That’s all we can hope for really. I’m rooting for you.
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Thanks i appreciate ur support 
Yea I can relate to such.
If it doesn’t feel right n it feels that something is wrong then maybe something is wrong.
Shouldn’t you feel good with n about the person you are with…
I was seeing a man a few times but it kept feeling wrong.
I felt he had abusive tendencies and did not feel so comfortable or relaxed with him I felt something didn’t feel right n that he may been up to mischief.
We did not have chemistry or good spirits happening but I kept thinking things can get better with time n sure they can…
I have felt confused about this relationship also but also think I want more and better to and for me.
I kept hanging on thinking miracles can happen and to give it time and etc
Quiet a few other reasons n things…
If one doesn’t feel good about it and feels something’s are wrong should one keep seeing that person anyway…
Shouldn’t it feel good with the person?
Shouldn’t one feel loved,accepted,relaxed be able to laugh n hangout n feel supported etc
I have loved people that have been hateful to me n actually hated me and been malicious to me…
Maybe one should not give things /relationship time.
Maybe it should feel good immediately with that person ,a friendliness etc
You deserve to be happy and feel loved in a relationship. Can you talk to him and tell him how you feel? It sounds like he knows you have an illness so if you are honest maybe he will listen. Would
he be open to accompanying you to a session with your pdoc? If he truly loves you he should be willing to help you. If not, it’s better you find out sooner than later.
Yea i talked to him about it and he says he will work on the things i mentioned. Yea he said hell go with me to my appointment. So im hoping things slowly get better and i can work it out.