Gaslighting me. Apparently I’m ill. But we all know it’s gaslighting

So I’ve asked my partner to leave for the night or a few days I’m not sure how long.

A couple of weeks ago I came downstairs and he had the dog pinned down on her side. I was really mad and asked what he was doing and he said he was trying to show her he was the dominant one …

I don’t like this at all and it’s made me very paranoid. However I don’t know if I’m paranoid for due reason. I am worried he might kill me and the dog.

He calls her pea brain and pushes her away. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want this relationship to end. But I can’t cope with going to bed next to someone I’m afraid will kill me. I’d rather be safe than sorry.

In the meantime I came to my mums house and a note had been placed theough the door by him about me.

How forceful was he with your dog? I’ve pushed a dog down before just to let it know who was boss. I think you’re jumping the gun by saying your partner might kill you. Are you willing to lose this relationship due to paranoia? If he pushed the dog down roughly, and held it with excessive force, then you might have to worry about what he might do to your dog, but if he didn’t do that I don’t think you have much to worry about.

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I would be upset about the dog thing too,

But I don’t think he’s trying to kill you or the dog.

Maybe you can talk to him about his treatment of the dog and sort things out.


Placing a dominant dog on his back is a common technique.
I wouldn’t worry about it so much.

I would definitely have a talk with him but I highly doubt he’s out to hurt you.


In the canine world the pinning of another dog on its side is pretty rare. It allows the dominant dog the ability to tear at the other dogs neck unhindered. It can be fatal often.

For this reason even dogs rarely resort to that manoeuvre. I am sure your poor dog was alarmed

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He doesn’t sound very pleasant to me. Why are you only discovering this about him now?


It’s a very controversial technique but some swear by it. I don’t think it should be done, but I also wouldn’t expect him to know not to use it unless he has extensive experience with dogs. Not sure why you chose that title? Do you think he’s gaslighting you?


I doubt he’ll kill you, but I’d also be really bothered by his treatment of your poor dog. That’s not good at all


What was in the note?

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I don’t know if I would be able to trust him after he treated your dog like that. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.


I don’t however like the fact that he calls your dog names (insults)

Yes, why are you noticing this about your partner now?

Definitely talk to him about this.

I know how much you love your pug.

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We have been together a year but only living together since November …that’s why I’m just noticing it now.

He said he used to call his dogs names like pea brain and similar.

Like if she does something silly he will call her pea brain. He apologised and said he would not do it anymore.

However my paranoia is not good. I want him to come back but I feel too paranoid.


If he does it in a loving way then I wouldn’t worry about it. Dogs do have pretty small brains, and they don’t understand language.

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I don’t know. I am in fear for my life. And I don’t know if I can have him back. I want to be able to go back to normal but I’m too afraid.

Maybe it’s the medication ? They changed my meds in December. I was on paliperidone for two years but now they switched me to aripiprazole.

Thankyou everyone for replying to this post.

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He could be a little jealous?

Yeah if he calls your dog names in a loving manner then that’s ok I guess, but tell him how you feel about it.

He may not be familiar with Pugs.
Pugs are a very sensitive breed.

Harsh techniques are not necessary.


Was it a playful pinning? I sometimes pin my pups but just in play. My lil Lucy dawg rolls over on her own for tummy scratches. relationships are sticky, if you have trouble trusting him get out, but if he made an honest mistake you might ask him why. I don’t know the guy so I’m not vouching for my biological sex or gender in any way but I can say that I recall accidentally scaring people’s pets by playing too rough. I meant well but my older brother style teasing was misinterpreted in some cases. Regrets. Probably due to drinking. How old is the guy? Is he just being immature or is there maybe a dominance complex going on?

It’s a little dog? Why? Little dogs hate that. Idk. Are there other red flags? He’s probably not a killer or anything but maybe a domestically aggressive type. Beware idk the guy though maybe he’s alright but idk.


This could be very true. I was always very jealous of my lover’s dogs.

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@Qwerty, what is gaslighting?