What do you think? Overrated or underrated?
I have erotomania. Once I thought someone was in love with me, another time we both fell in love, then I turned him down and moved on with my life. I might get married to a comfortable partner in a year, we love each other, it’s a good comfortable, safe relationship for me but I still have crazy days of leaving all behind and having fun in my youth years. I’m just not sure how worth risk this is.
I think it’s a personal decision so all I can offer is my personal, subjective perspective, which for me would be that it’s better to stay in a good, healthy relationship than to go off chasing excitement. The latter would lead to regret. But I also don’t see it in terms of “right and wrong” and think some people are just wired for flings. What matters most is being honest and respectful to your partners over the years. If you’re just stringing your current partner along with intentions to leave them, that wouldn’t be right.
You know my opinion about this, don’t ruin a good thing 
yes. I would never hurt a soul on purpose. We both feel the same way though, Comfortable safe relationship. He’s just more simple person who seeks comfort and I like adventures and thrills.
Have you tried adding the thrills a little bit? He might just be more passive. It’s okay for the woman to be the one to introduce things like kinky ideas or romantic adventures together.
trust me. I’ve tried lotsa things.
Well again I think it’s a personal decision. I don’t think it would be “wrong” of you to decide that something like wild sex (as a possible example) is extremely important to you, and to move on. Some people disagree I know, but I personally don’t think it’s wrong. I think what is wrong is lying to someone that you know deep down you’re going to wind up leaving. So to me it sounds like your task is to figure out how much of this is mania (which can be treated), and how much of it is your true nature and your true needs.
I’ve been on the other side of the glass, as well. I was with a guy and I had no sex drive at all due to anti-depressant I was taking, and also because I just wasn’t very comfortable with him. He would act like it was fine, but in the end he cheated on me and left me for my coworker. In retrospect I would have appreciated it more if he had been honest and ended things respectfully.
it’s not about sex. I’ve experienced a lot of highs and grandiose so I wanna have that in reality too. With my partner, it’s safe, comfortable, home like, he’s a gentleman, comes from a respected family and we just don’t fit together. I love him a lot and he loves me a lot but sometimes I still wanna live my freedom and have fun.
Why not? What exactly is it that you want to do, that you feel like you can’t do because of him?
haha, maybe we should talk this privately. It’s not because of him or something. But sometimes love is not enough. I have everything, maybe that’s why I don’t see the value. Maybe it’s my mental illness. I have a rocking’ life, love, friends, money, career and some side effects of meds. But I still think it’s not worth it. I’m just a little crazy, that’s why I have a mental illness. I would never cheat, hurt, betray, manipulate or lie though. I have a clean conscience. so if I leave everything behind, it’s gonna be my decision with dignity.
Yeah it sounds like you’re struggling to even really identify what it is that you need that you’re not getting. Which to me indicates that it might be more mental illness, and not a more personal philosophical question of what you really want in life. If you can’t even identify what it is that you want.
yes. I’m starting therapy soon. Honestly I can not wait. I have big hopes.
Is it possible that it’s not really a matter of something you want, but something you fear instead? Like maybe thinking you’re not getting what you want can be like an illusion sometimes. You haven’t really identified specifically anything that you want, but you’ve mentioned repeatedly what you DO have which is stability in a healthy relationship. Does that scare you? It scares some people. I can relate because I have Borderline PD issues.
I’m not really sure what I have yet. Once I though someone was in love with me. I’ve had grandiose, usually I think I’m a prostitute from the bible. I act in weird ways, I experience retardation, paranoia. so maybe the therapist will help me identify my illness. I’ve experiences sympathy for my enemies, weird stuff really. it’s so bizarre.
Me too. I thought I was the prostitute of Babylon!
I don’t know what to say. i’m gay but I did date a man before I started dating my partner. I was never comfortable with him, I wasn’t sick while I was dating the man but I know I wanted my freedom and I wouldn’t have sex with him. I don’t know why I wouldn’t have sex with him but I felt if we had sex then bam serious relationship. So instead he got sex elsewhere and got her pregnant.
If you are with someone cherish and feed that person emotionally? I love my girlfriend Angie. We started out rocky with fighting but it eventually bonded us and we can’t imagine living with anyone else. We don’t have much of a life especially because Angie is usually working at the laborious field of house cleaning. She’s getting out of the house keeping business and applying for jobs like a weigh station attendant stuff like that. I don’t know what I would do without Angie.
That’s nice @jukebox. I couldn’t imagine my life with out my partner. Kay means everything to me. Even though I don’t get to spend a lot of time with her anymore because of her job and her parents.
oh cb, I wish that wasn’t true. It breaks me heart you don’t get to see her very much. Kay should make more time for you. just my humble opinion. I love you. @cbbrown
yes it is, you hear it in music too often