So this is a big topic to me. I mean it’s important.
I’ve been in love with one person… and really only one in regards to us both being in love with each other. I remember what it was like and it was pretty cushy… kind of hellish at times as well.
That was nearly 10 years ago and I’m still waiting on it to come back around again. I would certainly be better for it this time around.
I sort of have a tendency to reject the women that are interested in me, but that’s more of a reflection that I don’t want to waste time on someone I’m being dishonest with… or miss a stronger connection because of a commitment.
It’s tough being alone though… I work with a lot of people and you can see who’s got what and at the end of the day it takes just manually forcing the acceptance of still being alone as a good thing or whatever else.
Friendship’s have a tendency to be so shallow… almost limited to be so. I just know I’ve got more to give than that. There is that criss-crossed lattice of dissapointing things that can be hard to see through at times.
Lol all the times that sense of things has driven me to just go out and hit the bars… even though I know chance are meager at best that anything magical will occur.
It’s tough to have faith love is out there at all sometimes. It’s so weird to think that people just wind up getting addicted to each other.
I mean I know of people who are in love with each other… but it’s just insane how those folk have a tendency to treat each other like ■■■■. It’s like why put up with that disrespect? Welp, their in love. They miss each other when they’re not around… they orbit each other like magnets and can barely face life without checking back into where things make sense.
Nah hell no… I’ve put a lot of work into developing a solid understanding of others and their needs. How to be patient and how to stand up for myself… how to identify who is good for me and who is bad… and just the willfulness to be sacrificial for people I care about.
I can’t just take to whoever is asking and watch myself sink under their weight… I deserve more than just being used.
I want to be with someone that impresses me… but in that I feel I have to climb in a lot of ways to get to the point that I can trust keeping them.
I mean I still live like I just dropped out of college… I’m stuck there and honestly I’m afraid to risk putting too much effort into any real direction due to my tendency to fail… Then I’m back at square one.
It’s cowardice, but I can’t just sign up and go to college. They make that ■■■■ so regimented that I’d have to preemptively restructure my life just for a shot. It’s too big a risk.
… I’d like thinking that genuine love would easily over power the circumstances I’m under. That someone would be compelled to just tolerate my stalwarted growth… even when they didn’t want to… just out of liking me.
But that’s hard to trust in the modern cultural climate. Love is downplayed in it’s importance and more objective measures dominate. Like sexual occurrences or socio-economic standing are more important.
Like how can a poor boy expect to get away with a rich girl… when he knows nothing and does indeed disagree with most of what comes along with luxury.
I don’t believe that there’s one true love. I think there’s multiple people out there you’d find true love with and the only thing worth considering is fortune and opportunity. Love is complicated and different people you’ll still love even though they may be completely different.
Never give up hope but I’d like to remind you that being open to a relationship will lead you to better ones. That is where love with thrive!
I’m also not really a fan of stagnancy… I mean I want to grow financially… I want my own home… I like the chores and the maintenance.
I like being respected for what I got to an extent… I know a lot of folk sort of resent seeing what I have already. And that’s just a decent sized apartment with a lot of tech toys.
@rogueone yeah being discouraged is more or less the number 1 way to never find it lol…got a few friends like that
@Pat6398 and yeah that is definitely worth mentioning. Forcing symmetry on something so complicated can really out shadow the value of the simpler things… like a situation where things are good… but someone is dissapointed because they feel like it’s not good enough.
I do have one love interest in mind… but it’s quite clear that girl would have the time for the tremendous importance I’ve given it… trying to back down from that sort of absolution. She at least smiles at me and makes eye contact…most all of the time.
… still that one is an intimidating prospect. And it’s already tried my patience to the extent I’m more or less neutral on it being a thing.
I did work up the balls to talk to her… and that did go well… but she’s hardly anything more than an acquaintance… I’m sure that’s about all the importance she’s given it.
It’s kind of also an exercise to pass the time for me… and thank you.
I just loath running into shallow values. You think something is important… with such certainty… the person is right there feeling it too… but then later come to realize even in great magnitude that sort of attraction is common and passing in their lives. (and that has a tendency to still a bit… triggers that vengeance.)
I mean I think love is actually a selfish thing… we feel it in ourselves… and it feels good to us… but we say we feel it for other people… when really we are using them to feel better and more important in ourselves.
I’m just an adult now… I think I’m prepared to have a better handle on it. I work… I provide for myself… some teamwork would really go a long way in making my life comfortable… and I would really enjoy sharing in that with someone special.
I have a lot of experience with desire, and none with returned love.
I think @Azley is making it more complicated than it needs to be. Ask out that person that you desire. You may ( or may not) form a bond. There are no guarantees, but this is the way forward.
Hah… thank you for that. You are right… and that is duely noted…
but I am meaning to be more elaborate. I was just staring at my ceiling… before I cracked and decided I wanted to just get some of my thoughts out there.
It’s not really about her… she’s only left me feeling good. She’s a real casual person lol…