I just want to know if anyone on here has fell head over heels in love after their first break…
The main things I feel now are anger and sadness… or just goofy and almost crazy (not psychotic).
I long to feel that deep butterfly feeling. I miss the relationships I had where I looked into a girls eyes and just felt her beauty. I would do anything to fall in love again. It would be the greatest thing I could ask from my life. So anyone? Have you guys felt true love?? 
I am not stable enough to be in a relationship, I don’t think. I am still in love with my ex-husband from 10 years ago (he is remarried) but, other than that, I think my delusional state would be difficult for someone to deal with plus I have ZERO desire for intimacy which would get old I am sure. I think I long more for a best friend than a lover. Preferably a man that I am attracted to but, again, I am still ‘in the clouds’ too much of the time so…ya
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope some day you do find someone though! Also are you delusional but having no hallucinations?
I do get people talking to me in my head but I never hear anything and no visual hallucinations. Just very delusional. Convinced I am constantly being watched by the world and that I have an audience. I think I am in a giant brain study being controlled and monitored. Some days are worse than others.
I have felt that feeling with my husband, but to be honest I haven’t been feeling that way since I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I love him to death, but I don’t have that spark anymore.
I was married before my break. To be honest it’s not the same. Before I would think of all the ways I could make her happy or that we could enjoy our time together. Now I think about how much we mean to each other and how much I need her. There is now more need, and she recognizes that she is a caregiver although she says she still enjoys her time with me and I am the love of her life. I hope I answered something in all that.
@moomop dang… that’s really sad for me… I’m 22 and I feel like if I don’t have that feeling no relationships ever gonna work out for me… that’s always been my driving force in relationships.
Now that I think if it I remember telling my ex girlfriend back in 2012 that I lost that spark for her… And I just knew something wasn’t right.
I just got out of a year long relationship and never felt a spark the entire time… I didn’t feel any passion… I thought it was because I was entirely attractive but now I don’t think thats true, as much as I’d like to… well damn.
Most of it has to do with me completely changing as a person. I always refer to it as either before my break or after my break.
@SunLion, at least there’s hope for me I guess… it’s just sad because I’m young and girls want romance… it’s kind of funny in a dreadful way… I feel a hole in my heart… but if I wanted to feel the opposite I couldn’t even if someone normally would…
I met my husband after I recovered from my psychotic break. I didn’t feel those butterflies at first, but I felt a deep sense that he was right for me. I never much cared for butterflies, because they seem to make people do stupid things. That never appealed to me.
@moomop, we’ll im glad to hear I’m not the only person that does that. I had a counselor for a while (that I stopped seeing) and I would always refer back to me before my psychosis and she would say that I needed to stop looking at the past… but it’s hard because I was on top of the world before… it helps me realize that at some point I was happy and easily confident.
Oh, and I do definitely feel a strong attraction to him. He is very sexy and cool, and he makes me laugh.
Yes, I have loved many times. I am in love now.
It is hard not to be that way. Before I loved working on cars and sci fi stuff. Now I don’t like that stuff anymore. I was so happy and laid back. I am happy again, but not as laid back as I used to be.
@Ninjastar, that’s awesome I hope I get as lucky as you are! I’ve got a big heart. And I’d give a girl the world… well I’d like to… it just sucks knowing I could do so much more before… I guess I just gotta give it my all in the situation I’m in. That’s all I can do, right?
@jukebox,did you still feel butterflies or anything though? And this is a weird word to use but giddy? Lmao. I remember me and my ex would always get like extremely happy/comforted/excited all in one. I miss that ■■■■
I have wept making love I was so in love before. if that’s what you mean. It is the initial first year or so with most couples that it’s electric like that unless you have true love then you just get deeper and deeper in love as time goes by.
@moomop, welll… I was just into pot… worst mistake I ever made… I believe my schizophrenia was definitely pot related… also weird note as I was going into psychosis. I worked my butt off in the gym got really ripped trying to win my ex back who was definitely the girl of my dreams. Now I have no drive to do anything… it makes me wonder whether it’s the meds or the actual illness…
Yeah the only thing I really am driven to do is write my story now and that has just started today. I don’t really have a passion for anything anymore.
@jukebox, yeahh my longest relationship was only a year and two months so I haven’t really gotten to that next stage… But! Did you feel those things after your break? Or was even the crying during intimacy after? If you say yes I would be ecstatic.