yesterday I think I felt something good. my paranoia vanished, I felt some good emotions, I even felt some spiritual strength that I miss with my illness since years(20 years I guess, it sucks I know)…
but today nothing like this. maybe I need more time, how do you think? maybe sometimes it takes up to years to recover? my diagnosis is paranoid sz with negative symptoms. I also have another diagnosis who questions the first one- borderline… its hard when you see that meds work for my sz friend even on the second day. me, I spent years at my home… but I dont want to lose hope, I want live. and I want live happily… even tough that my mother says that ill have symptoms forever cause its a hard illness :/… yeap, she is realistic but I dont want to believe her…
I think you need to challenge yourself…get out of your comfort zone.
Meet people through an Exercise Club, or Hobby Club…go out for a coffee every day…etc.
And Sz is manageable, but not curable…yet.
Getting a break from your symptoms for a little shows you it is possible for you to feel better. That shows you there is hope for more days like that. And try not to compare yourself so much to your friend…everyone is different so don’t let it get you down.
tbh, I am not sure that I can do it. I cant answer thephone already. the last time ive tried to go out it was in one club for sick people. I saw a psychiatrist there and I thought ill faint. I dont want the people to see me like this and to comfort me always and always. dont know, its tougher than you think…
When is the last time you went out for a social occasion or perhaps a movie at the theater? Does your Mom take you out to places?
the only place where I go with my mother or alone its the shops here. the last time of my social life was the birthday of my nephew in December at the house of my sister… the last time with my mom we’ve just sit on one bench for half an hour…it was one week ago…if I weren’t on meds I wouldn’t do even this I guess. I am on mines since 6 months. before that, I was just switching them always waiting for miracles… my pdoc finally said just to give them time, maybe a lot of time but I question myself if somebody here waited also for a long time on them… for all my schizophrenic friends their fears are relieved really faster. but ok, its my jealousy now who talks…
I’ve gone for months at first and later. for years without a relapse. It depends on the individual and their environment.
I went for 7 months over last winner and then broke hard and had a suicide attempt. I’ve been doing pretty good the last 6 months but I have been paranoid lately. I’ve had to up my AP a little bit. Anything can happen. People have gotten better after a long time on meds. For some it takes longer than others.
I have 3 sz friends for whom the meds are working even on the first or the second day. and one antoher sz friend with negative symptoms who is evil like hell oh boy so I guess the meds dont work for her wow… hah
my paranoia is not a typical one, maybe its more an anxiety thing or some kind of delusion…I feel guilt also a lot to be like this…
I remember you saying that you had one friend. Did you recently make more. If so congratulations. I stay inside all day to I can’t say the same. I haven’t really talked to the friend I had in college for like 2 years. Trying to conserve money.
You’re better than me, I hardly have any friends. I hope you continue to get better and believe that theres a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep praying and believing and before you know it everything has changed.
Anna, you have been reporting having good feelings more and more lately. I think as time goes on, you will keep feeling better and better. Maybe, now that the meds have opened the door for you, you will be able to go looking for the good feelings instead of waiting for them to happen. You should reward yourself every time you manage to feel happy for a bit. Make a celebration out of it, because, for you, it is a big deal. Buy yourself something you really like, or make your favorite food. Every time you feel happy, you’re beating your illness.
thanks to all. i went out alone now to the drugstore to take some stuff for my mother. but I was racing in the streets-its the paranoia. its the most difficult symptom to live that I have. ok, without meds I wouldn’t do even this but ill have to struggle hard to get this disappear… I feel like ill gonna scream outside or ill behave like crazy one…like Russell crow in beautifull mind when everybody was laughing at him outside and he wanted to hide… ok, maybe nothing from this wont happen but I have this fear…
Possibly it is. I was diagnosed in 2003, went into remission in 2006, went off my meds in 2007, and stayed relatively problem-free for five years, until I relapsed in 2012 and went back on meds. I have tried again to come off meds without success (I got sick again if I tried) but on meds I am doing ok for a few months now. I don’t know how to explain the remission I had, but maybe it was all in the mind - I was very religious at that time and believed God cured me. Now I know I have sz for life and have more stress at times, so it hasn’t gone away. But with meds, I am ok.
yep, took me 6 months I thought I had recovered, but my speech and mood started coming back 2.5-3 years later.
I started to speak more, all though I can’t converse very well but I’m less reluctant to speak,
yeap @rollies, me too my mood was suicidal for years, autodestructive also and hatefull. me too I have too wait for this. and like you, me too I ve lost my speech for a period, I rediscover this too now :).
ok,ill keep going. I was paranoid after seeing a friend today at my home but I know tomorrow ill be better.
keep going people
I have to fight against my thoughts to be a pedophile. I hope I wont choc anybody cause I am not it but I have this fear yes. i am also in the thinking that I never wont do anything with my life but I want it so badly. I want to be active, I want to be outside and just be happy but my paranoia is hear, its in my head-literally. maybe the med will help me with the time. its to a point that it drives me crazy… it discredits my positive emotions… my friend starts to get anguished around people also before an episode, for me-its chronic. my paranoia should be from another nature… it doesn’t go away just in 2 days of meds wow… the incapacity of thinking is a problem too but I say to myself that I come from a very deep place wow.
I really dont know anymore what is to feel sane again but maybe the time is on my side. anybody else who recovered after a long fight? wow
I just have to say this. Recovery does not come overnight. In fact, a full recovery for anyone is doubtful. You will hear even people in the psychiatric field who will claim a full recovery is possible while other doctors say it can never happened.
I tend to side with doctors who say it is not possible. My reasoning is simple. I believe that once you go through psychosis, that the damage is done and that it will reduce many of your choices or possibilities in your life. While in psychosis you learn weird ways of coping and behaving that can be very unhealthy and entrenched in your brain or body. I do not believe there is any way to erase all those patterns. But even if a full recovery is impossible ( depending on who you want to believe) you can still live a good productive life in many ways.
You may lag in some areas of life but you still have options and free choices you can make to live a decent life. Recovery does not just happen magically to you. It takes work and education and effort to achieve. If you do nothing for yourself, chances are that you will not recover as well as the people who dutifully take their medication, attend doctors appointments, and accept help and advice.
I have always been a very compliant person during my 35 years with schizophrenia. Some people fight the very people who are trying to help them. I just go along with the program and the years and years of vocational programs, group therapy, day programs, support groups, etc has paid off and I have done many things in my life that were interesting and I enjoyed. Yes, progress in recovery can take years. People may not want to hear this but it is true. Don’t just go through life letting things happen to you. Make your own luck and put out honest effort and be a little aggressive in your recovery.
I spent the entire 80’s in group homes, hospitals, day programs, vocational programs, family group therapy, support groups etc. I did not like a lot of what went on but in retrospect those programs helped me. You have to go out and get what you want, not just wait for recovery magically strike you somehow. You have to pursue it. Anyway, this is what I gleaned from my 35 years of living with paranoid schizophrenia. Good luck.
I know it will be hard but those are hard words though… I know its not nothing to be schizophrenic, I know… I just want to believe in not becoming crazy of because having this illness. and I would like just learn to enjoy my life that’s all. maybe ill stay forever alone ok.
otherwise, ok for the aggressive approach, we need it yes.
Your comment is an inspiration.