Internalized oppression and self hate

I remember growing up as a child going through racism and hate due to poverty I ended up hating myself attempting suicide and finding the only value in life to be money (greed) and drugs breaking the law etc I have suffered greatly and now after internalizing all this hate I now have voices who controll hate and torment me. I apologize for the hate I have been spewing about people since I have been on here it’s come to this hate from the inside which has taken over my life. I am sorry.

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Hey big-guns, I hope you’re going to feel better. :sunny:

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I didn’t know you, but self hate is a common trait. Knowing it’s not your fault is the first step to recovery. External events control us in ways we can’t even conceive. Stopping, taking stock and analysing our actions and the reasons why can begin the necessary self love we all deserve.

When you stop attacking yourself others too can stop being attacked in turn.

good luck stranger…

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I don’t hate myself and I do forgive myself for the many mistakes I have made but others hate me and they do not forgive me. They don’t want me to forgive myself. In fact they hate me because I love myself and forgive myself. They hate me because I love them and forgive them but they don’t love and forgive themselves. In short, they hate me because I am full of love and they are not. The contrast bothers them and they take it out on me. I wish they could love themselves as much as I love them. Then they wouldn’t be so bitter toward me. Some are angry because I love them as human beings and they want me to feel sexual toward them but I don’t. My love for them in a purely human, non-sexual love and it makes them angry and frustrated because they want sex.
They don’t realize my human love is FAR more valuable than sex. They shouldn’t discard it so readily but they get sexually frustrated. Many, many people have been angry with me and hated me throughout my life through no fault of my own. They have physically and mentally attacked me because of it. In the world I have to live in, they still do. Negativity hates positivity. Sadly.

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Mine isn’t coming from people it is coming from within me. External influences are from people the environment. I now know that I can’t let what I have on the inside control me influence my thoughts my mind and how I feel about myself and the people around me. What makes you think about these people?

I am sorry you are dealing with self-hate. I wish there were something I could do to help you. I am glad you can come here and get support. As far as me, I feel, for the most part that I do a good job of ignoring the negative vibes and hate. Sometimes it gets to me or I will mention it but I do my best to not care what people think and to be positive regardless. I am human though, so despite my best efforts, sometimes it gets me down.

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I’m going to learn to love.

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We all love you FWIW :slight_smile:

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Thanks that makes me happy sending love to you too

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