Schizophrenia.com

In love,do you believe in being liked or fated love?

Hello guys,as some of you frequent forum user might know I had a "girlfriend"which I longed for and my wish came through…now I am afraid she might thinks I am overly quiet and a usually uncomfortable person,I hope she doesn’t mind these,I believe for my girlfriend,it’s fate that brought me to become his boyfriend and vice-versa

There is one more part of story I want to share,I have been going to a mental health support group,and there is this girl who focus a lot of her attention on me,I think she finds me interesting,she gave me a lot of eye contact and looks interested in me and I like the way she talked/looked at me also,it also seems to be a little unfair to other patient as she focus most of her attention on me,by the way she’s a case manager…I told my dad about this matter but my dad advice was not think too much about it,my dad thinks that she only likes to talk to me but am not actually interested in me…I feel this is a relationship which is more of like/friendship but not love

Thank you guys for reading,I would like to have some comment,I hope to have a lasting relationship with my current girlfriend because she is very kind,brave as she initiated this relationship,I am the one who was being moved,I would like to say I loved and liked her even though I still could not see her eye to eye,but I will try for this relationship,thanks

hi, @Mobc1990 , glad to hear you are ok with your new girlfriend and that your wish came true.

To answer the question, I don’t believe in fated love, I believe in love that is nurtured, cherished and made to work. So if you love this girl, take care of her and try to deserve her attention (find new ways to entertain her, new subjects to discuss, new things to make her happy, as I am sure she does for you). It’s a little effort, but you will find it’s very therapeutic to do so.

As for the other girl, people like each other without being necesarily infatuated with one another. Maybe she just wants to talk to you more, maybe she finds you are an interesting person or maybe she is just studying your reactions for a research of her own. You could ask her, if you have the boldness to do so.

Anyway, being in a monogamous relationship does not mean that you will necessarily not like any other girl. It only means that you will be loyal to the one you chose in the first place. I’m sure that, besides being"fated" this girl has attracted your attention for a number of resons and that you can remember those easily when temptation arises.

Best of luck in your love life!

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I think friendships are more often “discovered” than they are “made”.

I think the general outlines of our lives are drawn up before we are born.

I’m happy you got something you wanted!

Jayster

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Thx,but I think you know as a schizophrenic,we had all the abnormal social withdrawal behavior problem,it’s very hard for people to stick/maintain relationship with us,unless something special happens

I think we as the schizophrenic should make ourselves lovable and believe we are lovable before we start a relationship. We should have a set of good attributes such clean, sober, diligent , humorous, and so on. if you believe your are lovable then your will be confident and relaxed when you meet the right one.

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Me and my husband have been a couple for 16 years. It was not love at first sight. We grew togeather somehow. And when we got to be a couple nobody raised an eyebrow, we just belong togeather. It’s like it’s always been us. But being married is hard work. You can’t take your partner for granted. We have been about to separate 3 times but end up togeather again. Last time was when I was psychotic. I did not want anything to do with him. But when I got better, he was there for me.

Let your relationship grow slowly. Don’t rush anything. Rushing will back fire. The longer you are togeather the more you can trust each other and give each other support when needed.

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Mobc1990, you look gorgeous in the photo that you have shared with us yesterday… Admittedly, men and women have their first impression on how we are dressed up, etc, so-called the personal appearance. You have advantage which is your physical fitness. At the same time, never forget your inner quality which is more important than our look.

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@green6,I think what you said has reason but I don’t have the confidence to show good qualities when with some people,am I wrong to start a relationship…but what if I never be prepared the whole life?so I never get into one?

I bet you have already had the quality to be lovable as being clean, sober, diligent, and intelligent because you work long hours and showed ability to socialize on this site…What you need to do is give credit to yourself and be confident when facing your girlfriend.

Kind words,yes I do work and I feel proud of it but my personality and personal life is nothing,I do hope things changes though,so my first relationship can worked well

I do believe in fate when it comes to love but I do believe we have lessons by way of the relationships we have before we find love, kinda like kissing a few frogs on the way.

Best of Luck with your current lady, she may be the one or else she may be a lesson on the path to finding the true one. By the way, the point of the lesson, by way of failed relationships is to develop depth and charm.

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I agree with @anon33673328

I don’t really believe in fated love… Maybe because a good relationship never came of that… for me.

The only time I’ve felt that “whoosh” of emotion with a person was when I was on drugs. I’m off drugs and alcohol now… have been for a very long time.

The relationship I’m in now feels very different. It was a plutonic friendship with no intention of getting more serious… that began to get more serious.

I feel happy for you @SurprisedJ,it means your relationship is a good type and natural type!:smiley: