I love my girl because she is so special to me. We have known each other for fourteen and a half years and I have grown to love her and all her little quirks and personality gifts and faults and I think she is just the cutest thing. In and out. But, unfortunately, she doesn’t love me the same way. Her love for me is dependent on whether or not I will have sex with her. When we have sex, she suddenly falls in love with me all over again and it is beautiful, for a while. That is, until I tell her that I have to be celibate for G-d, and then she falls out of love and becomes indifferent towards me. She doesn’t love me for me. She loves my b----ts, my ■■■■■, and my t—ue. That is the sad fact.
Be honest. How many of you would be willing to date a celibate person and make a commitment?
I think it depends on the person. Some people are able to do it, some people can’t. I don’t think it’s a fault to want to have sex with an intimate partner.
I don’t think it is a fault either, @LED. I’m not faulting my partner for it. It’s just that as much as I love her and want to be intimate with her, I love G-d even more.
Humans are jealous creatures. You’re choosing someone over her. It doesn’t matter that it’s G-d. You’re rejecting her and her desires and choosing elsewhere. When you have sex, she’s #1 again and is happy that you love her more again.
Before entering a love relationship is the time to choose celibacy. I was celibate for over ten years (13 years) while raising my son. But once I chose to be in a relationship again, I knew that sex would be part of it. Had I wanted to remain celibate, I would have remained single, or specifically found someone who could be celibate with me. Having already had sex with your partner, and having made this commitment to celibacy in your own, you’re as good as cheating on her.
My partner knows there’s times when I’m not interested in sex. She gets a little upset. Sometimes we don’t have sex for weeks. She works thirds now so she isn’t home at night. We use to have sex all the time.
@Hedgehog, When I met my gf, I wasn’t even religious at all. But, I was in the process of thinking about becoming a confirmed spiritual person. I met her in Aug. of 2004 and by June of 2005 I was confirmed. That was ten months later. At the time that I met her, I had no idea of all that my chosen religion would end up demanding of me. She just happened to meet me at the wrong time.
I’d have to admit I totally respect your decision of celibacy but from your previous threads and posts it seems you are deeply conflicted. Like you oscillate from celibacy to sexual activity and back again. Tbh I’d enter into a relationship with a celibate partner provided there was a prior agreement.
I know how you feel in a sense I was in the same boat. Being torn from the tenets of a belief system to acting in defiance of it.
Can you speak to a spiritual confidant to work through some of these feelings? Pastor or etc.
