I'm So Sad

DX'd - Other
1

I hope this doesn’t trigger anyone, but I’ve only been out of the hospital a week and already feel sad and hopeless again. They gave me all of these suggestions in there on things to do but never considered that the depression/negative symptoms steal away the drive to do things…of course, I didn’t help them by saying that since I wanted out of the H after 3 weeks. I actually tried to get going on a few projects but only managed to gather up the supplies and/or put the books out.

I keep having thoughts about hanging myself and jumping off an overpass but so far have been able to tell myself that thoughts aren’t the same as actions. I just feel like I did before I overdosed, that feeling nothing is better than feeling…just empty I guess.

I’m supposed to be happy my mom will visit from Florida when I’m getting ECT in a few weeks but all I can think about is how hard it’s going to be to pretend to smile and laugh all the time so she’ll think things are better than they are. She will want to shop all the tourist stores and go out to eat when I just want to curl up in the dark.

Can anybody say, with truth, that it will get better? The doctor in the H said that and I don’t believe her…I think she said it for herself. Has anyone been through this tunnel before and come out the other side? Please, I need all of the advice or hope from “real” people (not psych H staff) I can get. I don’t want to end up in the H again and I’m doing what I’m capable of to turn away these thoughts… it’s just I’m so sad…

2

Get your antidepressant adjusted It might take some time. And try experimentation with your Dr’s guidance.

3

Thanks. I just started Lexapro 2 weeks ago so maybe it hasn’t kicked in yet? I’m actually trying coloring to take my mind off of it.

1 Like
4

I think about suicide a lot. It’s pretty scary at work as we have a terrace on a high building where I work and when I smoke cigarettes out there they try and get me to jump off the building.

I just ignore myself and second guess every thought and challenge them with my own internal dialogue. It seems to work if you get thoughts like you describe and rationalise them before acting on them. Takes practise but it’s possible to reduce them

2 Likes
5

I was recently in a pretty deep depression thinking about suicide everyday. With personal efforts everyday and the right medication I can legitimately say I am happy. I don’t have alot but I enjoy life. Just find something you can be passionate about, make some attainable goals, and make sure your medications are right. I can say with truth that it does get better :slight_smile:

1 Like
6

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.