Just came off call from him. He upset me so much I yelled into the phone and paced the floor. My sister is upset at him too. I blocked his number again after her advice.
He’s claiming there’s no one to help him and he can’t go back to his parents because he doesn’t get along with them. He doesn’t understand why I want a divorce. He’d do anything to keep me. Begging me to reconsider. I’M SO SICK OF THIS RIGHT NOW. He’s acting desperate and it’s upsetting me.
He’s always been an indecisive person. Settles his mind - then changes it. Then settles then changes. Damn it! Am I to be stuck with a man (even though I love him) who doesn’t have any family on his side? I don’t want to be in a ■■■■ family like his. And I’m not responsible for looking after him if I want to leave for my mental wellbeing! How do I deal with this???
I start to feel guilty for wanting to leave him. But what else can I do? He promises he’d do ANYTHING for me and even for my sister etc.
AAAARRRGGGHHH! I can’t deal with this right now! He can’t force me because he doesn’t get along with his family. Surely someone will help him??? He said no but I don’t believe that. How can there be nobody in his big family that would help him???
He can suck it up and be miserable at his parents’ house. It is no longer your responsibility to figure out how he survives. That is his job. Don’t let him trick you into doing his hard work for him. All adults need to figure out how to survive and where to live. He doesnct seem to want a wife. It seems like he wants you to be his mother.
I married him because I liked his gentleness and that he was devout muslim
But I want to leave because of the toxic relationship we have.
He doesn’t understand why I think so but my mental health has suffered being with him. There’s just too much negative energy. In eight years of marriage I’ve been in hospital six times. He thinks all is ok but I hid it from him how resentful I’ve been.
We’ve had plenty of arguments where we yelled abuse at each other. We’ve been on brink of violence several times. He slapped me once across face and I’ve thrown things at him. It’s been awfully toxic so many times
A person who will slap you can and will do worse. He’s already attacked people, you will eventually be attacked if you go back.
I’ve been in a toxic relationship that turned violent. The manipulation is just one symptom.
You are away now and safe. Ignore him. Do not talk to him. It’s hard, but for your well being you simply must ignore him totally. Keep him blocked and don’t answer the door if he shows up. In fact, call the police if he does and won’t leave.