Devastated about brother

My brother is seriously suffering.
It’s his wife. They are already living more than dissent, but its not that simple.
Today I was facing situation that I never should hear or see.
He was desperate, and cried in front of me, saying he cant bring any more money to house, he took credit, and works two shifts, because his wife cant raise one child, so they have women they pay for watching over him.
All that time she spends in bed or shoping.
At first I thought, ok, will manage sth.
But when she, his wife, awakened, she started cursing our family in so sick way, i never heard someone speaking, then she started yeling.
My brother was just listening to disgusting things she was telling and I got the picture…

She was talking about taking the kid away, changing his last name, mention court in matter of taking property, swering all the time…

Never heard in my life such evil behavior.

I packed and left, but my poor brother kept calling me four times for me to apologize to her…

Now Im sitting in dark, he is half, quater of brother I knew. Could pick up any woman.

I love him, please someone!

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His wife sounds like a waste of space. I wouldn’t apologize either.

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No, Iguess she continued to torture him, he begged me to appologize…

Hes in love with his child. I guess she blackmales him about taking boy away and taking everything on court.
She is very manipulative…

She sounds manipulative. He should put hidden cameras and record every day until she threatens him again and acts nasty for no reason. He can then take that to court in his defense

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Dear @LilyoftheValley, he is totally broken.
I cant help him, and she doesnt leave room.
Already had done damage to me by forcing my brother to throw me out…
Ive seen marriages broken, but he still takes care of her.
Its me, im in situation, boiling, if I said everything i had, she would take boy already tonight.

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Well, stay out of it except to be a listening ear. It just makes things worse if others get involved. I’m sorry your family is dealing with this, especially your brother

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@GoldenRex, can you read this, need your clear view…

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I wouldn’t apologize either.

And I think your brother seeing her like this may be a good thing in the long run,

It may inspire him to divorce her.

He can get joint custody.

If he can prove how abusive she is, he could get full custody.

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My brother used to very similar situation.she ask from my brother 400 thousand liras(50000 $) and 5000 liras monthly payment for divorce.judge just gave her 20000 liras (4000$)and 1000 liras monthly payment.my say is don t afraid of justice.if he find good lawyer she can get much thing

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I hope so, my point of view as well.
Just need to get her to psychiatrist, neutral one.
Thanks…

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I alredy when I got home alerted my father and aunt to speak with with her father.
I did that so the damage if something happens would be smaller…

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I’m so sorry @anon22846033
I wouldn’t get involved in his wife’s affairs.
I think he sees the big picture.

I would be there for him and be a good listener towards him.

He’s going to need your support.

Honestly she doesn’t sound well.

But it’s not your place to fix her problems.

Maybe he will divorce her and get partial custody.

Take care of yourself first buddy.

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Thanks brother, we bot have brothers we neglected.
I tried to make up to him by giving him my share of that flat, which has high price now, and I basicly live in room bc of her.

He is not capable of sorting his marriage and she is capable of everything.
Thats why I alerted older folks, so they take care of that.
Thanks for being with me.

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Today I formed preliminary talk with my aunt, father, and told my father to page hers to arange a meeting.
As she told she would take a child and change his last name, Im not letting go.

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It sounds like he is caught in a very difficult situation. No doubt, he is afraid of losing visitation rights to his own child. Women like that can be incredibly manipulative

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I can tell you love your brother @anon22846033

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I know she is psychopathic, and will go to to hospital or away,
She cant blackmale whole family…

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Hes gonna hate me, but its his problem.
Didnt gave him flat for that kind of person.
I talked to my father, and he said as soon he got from rehabilitation, he’ll sort things out.

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I’ve been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse and what you described does sound like abuse.

Your brother might not realise the extent of the abuse. He might be making excuses for her in his head, or blaming himself for her bad behaviour. It won’t be as simple as collecting proof. He will likely need therapy or some professional help to see things clearly. Some charities that specialise in male victims of abuse, offering support and information. You could try signposting him to one of those?

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