But I’ve had 2 overdoses in the last year.
I just have this overwhelming pressure in my mind that tells me to take all my pills.
Last overdose nearly did me in.
I’m still not doing well mentally.
Don’t do it. Call 911 if you are seriously considering taking all your pills. Call for help.
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Every day i fight with myself not to take them. Now homecare comes to give me my meds so I’m less likely to do that. I’m going to beg my pdoc to put me on injections.
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so you’re safe?
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I’m safe. My kids are here til tomorrow. That is when things get a little sketchy. My evil comes out when I’m alone and afraid. It’s there when the kids are too but their presence brings me comfort.
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well you had me scared for a minute. You gotta stay safe lady. Have a plan for when the kids are gone.
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I wish my two best friends didnt live so far away. I’ll hang out at my parents place and other family members. But I usually try just in my.bed all day
Oh yup, gotta try to find a way out of bed. I know it’s hard but it’s a good goal. Then once you get out of bed you can set another goal like going for a short walk each day or something that you would enjoy. I just used that as an example because I would like it. Or you can stay in bed, that’s cool too. But definitely keep those pills away from you. My husband keeps mine locked up so I can’t get to them. The county used to dole them out to me one weeks worth at a time but it was so frustrating they would never order them on time and I would have to go in to get meds sometimes 3 times a week. We just handle it on our own now. Thank God it was never court ordered.
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How do you deal with the contradiction you’re making in your mind. First, “I’m really not wanting to die yet.” and “I have this overwhelming pressure to take all my pills.” They aren’t comfort food! Are you not yourself when one of the statements, either one, is thought? Which statement is you?
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I live with this kind of contradiction all the time. I hate myself and I want to die but at the same time I’m afraid I have cancer. It’s weird.
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There’s much irrationality in my story!
Jayster
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Maybe it’s when the cycle of life takes a new spin. Up is followed by down.
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Normal is a setting on my washing machine?
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It’s a compulsion to take them. I want to be.there for my family but I can’t stop being told
Next week i have to get out each day . Walking club. Bloodwork. Pick up meds. Visit my mom. Go get EKG. Tired just thinking about it
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I identify with feeling tired just thinking of such a list.
I asked many doctors and other mental health professions if I was tired al the time because of my mental illness or because of the treatment for the mental illness, and most of them said, they didn’t know.
Jayster
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@FatMama please don’t take all your pills…I love you.
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@FatMama please call 911 or go to the ER if you are feeling suicidal.
Choose life.
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please do not do this and get help, call 911 and is there anyone living with you tell them
I agree with everyone on this forum your life is precious
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I really don’t want to die. Its this craziness inside me. I’m keeping safe
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