I'm really feeling awful. Long story. Feel free to read if bored

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I finally ended it with this friend where we liked each other

It’s really sad because I don’t think I can ever see him again

He’s really nice but there were a few (private) issues I was having.

I really love him but I’m just not ready to be in a love relationship.

Now I feel low because I’ve done this to him. Changed my mind about the progress of our relationship /friendship.

But I just can’t do it anymore

I’m not gonna jump into any relationship anymore

Next time I date some1 I will have to KNOW that it’s the time to.

Because I feel awful right now. And I’m sad that I can’t see him again. Ever.

But it’s for the best for both of us in the long run

Sorry for the rant.

But it feels good to let it out.

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Yea I feel okay now.

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Maybe just text him from time to time. I get it though I cant see my best friend anymore but I still like to text him to see whats new

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I can’t. I feel like I’m not free if I keep in touch with him. I love him, but I also don’t, because I get so many upsetting thoughts. It breaks me.

It’s a long story but that’s a part of it.

Thankyou for your really kind suggestion though.

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Um… maybe consider printing a short note to tell him you must cease communication but you don’t hate him. you set a clear mutually acknowledged boundary, he isn’t left believing he is resented, you both get closure, you get a last opportunity to air any grievance if you must, and then goodbye. hope you feel better

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You’re lucky to have people wanting to see you

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well hope you feel better about it. breaking up is so hard.

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I am happy with my friends, I know them since over 10yrs ago

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Although I might be wrong, sometimes I feel he is laughing about me, durung movies, and at me, when I’m talking to him. He says he is just laughing because we are having a good time but I feel that’s not the reason.

Although I might be able to trust him, I feel I can’t. Not just about the laughing but other random stuff, plus more important stuff.

I feel like my heart is already broken, like he won’t be with me for life or like when he does translation jobs abroad in south America he will enjoy talking with all the pretty ladies and be attracted to one/them, there whilst I’m alone where we reside. If I knew I could trust him, (which I don’t know) then I’d feel safe emotionally and like I’d want to be with him.

I feel I’m wasting my time all of a sudden, with him, because I can’t trust him. I feel ugly when I’m with him
I think he finds other girls much more attractive physically than me, and I just don’t like it, thou he says ‘it’s not like dat’
There’s other private reasons.

Somehow it just doesn’t add up.

I realised that I’m not ready to be seeing some1 as more than friends either…

I wish I could trust him, believe him, but I can’t.

He did in the past lie to me about having gfs before me, he kept that lie for ages.

One of his’ ex gfs’was his best friend and that stressed me out a lot because of their history and still remaining best friends.

Then one day he decided to tell me she, along with two other girls were never actually his girlfriends and that the best friend is not his best friend anymore because it makes me uncomfortable :roll_eyes:, since he says he was indeed in love with her, apparently only in the past.

I just struggle to believe he tells me the whole story.

I don’t even want to be friends with him therefore. It is annoying. Though I might be the one with trust issues, I might not be.

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He is honestly so cool and great man but lying is not cool like that. Though, like I said it might be me who has a trust issue.

Anyway because I can’t trust him, I can’t accept him as even a friend

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You know what i have to say and you don’t like it. When i was paranoid i also thought others were laughing at me. 2.5mg abilify is not enough and we can see it in your posts lately like feeling your ancestors in the wind

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I have insight though.

I noticed that this was psychotic. Later that night. And I said so aswell in that thread.

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Its very hard to have stable relationships when you get positive symptoms. I know that from experience. I stopped talking to all my friends when I had positive symptoms.

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it is quite difficult to find a good person and still fall in love with him, and sex games are not so significant for a more dangerous and at the same time exciting story like life

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Yea true that.

15charcters

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Bingo! Please consult a professional about this. You have posted alot about your trust issues since you’ve been on the forum. You seem to always have excuses for not taking advice from other forum members or for why you aren’t consulting a therapist to work through your trust issues. You are putting yourself through unnecessary emotional pain and anguish. :slightly_frowning_face:

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Hi moonbeam. I had another time to reflect on it and me and him are okay now.

It’s just about seeing the value of things, for me.

He is a very valuable person. I love him :heart:

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