I have recently been toying with the idea that I might be able to feel emotions more strongly again if I stopped or tapered out.
I know it would be a horrible idea and I’d most likely end up in a hospital, so I’m not going to do it.
I’m just tired of being this emotionless person. I’d like to laugh and cry. Or laugh until I cry.
It also costs a lot of money. Sure, my dad helps me with the costs, but I feel bad about that. I’d rather he spent the money on himself.
I know meds are what keeps me sane, but I can’t help but wonder… What if?
I think if you talk to your pdoc about tapering down to a lower dose and pdoc agrees to it and gives you a plan to follow, then it’s ok. But if you do it on your own you could end up full blown psychotic and upset the people around you. If your dr lets you taper down to a lower dose you could inform someone you trust so they can pay attention. And if you’re becoming psychotic they can tell you to take a pill to up your dose. You need a backup plan like that. Also, I’m not sure if it’s true but I’ve heard that every time you get psychotic, it takes more medicine to treat the psychosis.
Yes, going off the meds is probably a bad idea. But there may be room to adjust what you’re currently taking in order to get back some of those emotions. I recently saw my pdoc and was very flat emotionally and she reduced my Latuda from 140mg to 120mg and it has helped me. I’m not as flat as i was before.
I have questioned like this and reached conclusions that I cannot trust the doctors anymore and won’t take the tablets. They are up to something as someone wouldn’t share a psychology report with me. They can say what they like. As long as I don’t tell them I will hurt people or myself I can do what I like.
@Pikasaur, @Om_Sadasiva, @Mountainman, @Joker, I don’t know about you guys, but, I’m ok with being flat emotionally. It’s a whole lot better than breaking down into unstoppable tears every time I turn around. And in public too. Lack of emotions is a lot better than getting suicidal, with plans, every time I turn around too.
I have always lacked emotion so I don’t think the meds make much difference. When I have lost it before my reality has been so disconnected I cannot talk any sense and my brain is not working properly. I understand what you are saying though. I feel and think these things but it’s the fear before that has toppled me into acting out. I will manage this effectively as I no longer give a ■■■■.
If you have been stable for a while, you might try asking your psychiatrist about reducing your dose. There is no shame in that. The psychiatrist might even conclude it is possibly a more healthful alternative.
I agree with what everyone else said. You can try lowering one of your doses to see if you can feel alittle more alive. This is of course with permission from your doctor.
I hope things get better for you!