I'm not feeling well

Most of the time, I can not feel emotions or pleasure properly.

I tend to not show emotion and people get really upset with me about it, but I do care.

Ya most schizophrenics I meet always say it’s like that sometimes but for me its like that 24/7. I can’t get a break. I don’t know why the hell God is making me suffer like this.

To me, it’s 24/7, I can not feel emotion, I feel empty.
I can not think straight too.
Lately, I’m sleeping too much, it can be because of depression.
I feel out of reality, it is depersonalization. It seems that everything is unreal.

I also wonder why I’m suffering, seems like a punishment, or that God is not seeing what I’m going through.

So why would you say it only happens sometimes? Every person I talk to does this. They confuse me so much because they say it happens sometimes and then they change it and say it happens all the time.

Sorry, I may not have express myself well.

To me, this lack of emotion seems to happen 24/7.

So how long have you been like this?

I think that is from the beginning of the disease that the lack of emotion disturbs me. But it’s getting worse over time to the point I can not speak what I want, I can not think straight when I speak or write something, it’s like a mental block happens when I want to express myself.

Yah, I can never speak what I want. So when were you diagnosed?

I was diagnosed in April, 2011.

Due to the depersonalization and negative symptoms, currently I’m home, feeling very anxious, I have no desire to do things, for example: I have no desire to read books, play games, listen to music, watch movies … There are moments that I listen to some music, or something else, but not the same intensity as before…

How could I explain? I take no pleasure in doing things, as it had before.

Yah, I don’t feel anxious but I don’t enjoy anything. Music, movies, books, anything. Were you hospitalized?

I was not hospitalized.

I’m currently using:

  • Risperidone (6 mg)
  • Haloperidol (2mg/ml - drops) (0.8 mg)
  • Clonazepam (2 mg)

So you were diagnosed with schizophrenia by a regular psychiatrist.