I can’t sleep. My brain will not shut up, it’s just an endless spiral of depression and anxiety and self-loathing. I’m not hallucinating yet (except the music, which never ever stops), but the paranoia is in full swing, my memory is completely shot, and just in general I feel horrible. Tonight I plan on taking some expired Trazodone in an attempt to get some sleep, even though it always made me feel terrible. I’m still not on my Abilify, and only a half dose of Zoloft. Basically, just enough to keep me from killing myself, though lately the thoughts of suicide have been nearly constant. Going to the hospital would ruin me financially, and I won’t be on my fiance’s insurance (which will actually cover mental health care adequately) until next year. I won’t see my new psychiatrist until December, and going to my old one is absolutely not an option. My only options are to keep trying to ride this out, or go to the ER.
you have to hang in their i just got out of the hospital and it sucks. i take trazodone too 300mg and makes me feel like crap in the morning but i at lest sleep i hope things get better for you i really do
I’m sorry to hear that. That really is a tough call. I have been to the ER 8 times uninsured since being diagnosed. Let’s just say my credit is shot. On top of that, they can’t really help you. It is something you almost have to learn to live with and deal with on your own. However, if you are suicidal I would absolutely go because they are obligated to get you to the mental hospital if you say that.
Man, maybe you can go to the ER if things continue this way - Maybe you can go back on Abilify, if this is what you want.
Hope that you feel better soon.
Try not to fret much on the lack of sleep. I’ve had this issue and regardless of how bad it gets, it eventually gets better.
I try to take comfort in the fact that the longer you stay up your next sleep cycle will be remarkably better even if it’s short sleep.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m experiencing similar symptoms. It’s tiring dealing with it. I can’t imagine being uninsured and needing help like you do. It seems you have to ride it out until December and/or next year, but that’s hard to tell someone to do. If the suicidal thoughts gets bad enough, I would go to the ER. Your health is more important than anything else.
Your best option is going to the ER, before things escalate any further…