I almost lost my ■■■■ at work today. It was so bad that when I took a break this morning I called the clinic and left a message on the nurse’s line saying, among other things, “I think I’m losing my ■■■■.” I practically begged for something strong like haloperidol or fluphenazine. A nurse called back shortly after, while I was working and could not answer, saying my dr is not in today and won’t be in until Tuesday. I hope like hell she can do something for me then. I feel a little better now than I did earlier, but yeah, the Abilify shot alone is not cutting it. It helps, I’m sure, but I’m worried about going full-on crazy if I don’t get on a second AP soon.
The stress of work brings it out in me more than anything else. I feel like I’m slipping back to where I was last May/June, when I was leading up to a hospital stay. I will not go to a hospital this time, though. That is a last resort and simply not an option right now.
My next appt with the nurse is on the 18th, don’t see my dr again for over a month, unless one of her patients cancels and I can take their spot. She books two months in advance (community mental health clinic).
I’m going to a friend’s house in a little while, probably, will help me unwind a little anyway.
OTC stuff? My dr would never prescribe me Ambien, and trazodone never had any effect on me. I suppose I could give melatonin another try. I used to just drink myself to sleep, but I’m sober now.
I like ambient because it wears off in about 8 hours or less ,but I take Tylenol PM also but I’ll sleep longer. Feel good when I get up but hard to get going in the morning, not terrible but not like ambient. My doctor claims Tylenol has a soothing effect
I recently got Vistaril at the hospital after not sleeping for 4 days and it worked surprising well, in addition to helping my cough. Since it’s “just” an anti histamine, the doctor was quite willing to prescribe it.
1 cup self-raising flour
3 Tbsp cocoa powder
½ cup Chelsea Soft Brown Sugar
80g butter, melted, cooled
½ cup milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
Vanilla ice cream or cream, to serve
Sauce
¾ cup Chelsea Soft Brown Sugar
2 Tbsp cocoa powder, sifted
1 ¼ cups boiling water
Method
Preheat oven to 180°C bake (160°C fan-forced). Grease a 6-cup capacity ovenproof baking dish.
Sift flour and cocoa into a large bowl. Stir in the Chelsea Soft Brown Sugar.
Whisk butter, milk and egg in a jug. Slowly add to flour mixture, stirring until well combined and smooth. Spoon into baking dish and smooth the top.
Sauce
Combine the Chelsea Soft Brown Sugar and cocoa and sprinkle over the pudding. Slowly pour the boiling water over the back of a large metal spoon to cover pudding. Place dish onto a baking tray and bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until pudding bounces back when pressed gently in the centre.
When we are lying in bed, although we have the impression we are not sleeping at all, we sleep some of the time. “Sleep is for comfort. Rest is for health.” Dr. Abraham Low. Sleeping pills are not the way to go. We have to find a satisfactory level of sleep that takes into account our illness and our response to the daytime environment.
My erratic sleep patterns are one of the reasons why I am afraid to try to go back to work. I am afraid I cannot succeed at work because of this. The other reason is because of my frequent migraines (15 migraines per month). I’m afraid my migraine frequency and severity would make working miserable and impossible. Also, I have extremely poor judgement and I tend to make very poor judgement calls, on the job. I tend to always get fired, from my jobs, because of it.
