After several years of see-sawing back and forth with trials on all sorts of meds and combos, I’ve found something that works, and even causes weight loss. I’m on Loxitane, a medication that came out in 1975. It’s similar to Clozapine. My pdoc told me how it hits the D4 receptors harder than the D2 receptors, which is what Clozapine does too. Also in the footprints of Clozapine, it hits serotonin receptors too, causing fewer movement side effects. I either can’t afford the new meds, or they cause untoward weight gain. I’m doing everything I can to not get diabetes. Recent blood work has shown that I’m not even close to getting diabetes.
I’m also on a low dose of Elavil, an old antidepressant. It helps me sleep, which is something I desperately need. I’ve been an insomniac ever since I was 12.
My wife and I had a conversation today where she said I’m doing better than she’s ever seen me before. We went out to karaoke (I didn’t drink), and I had a blast. For the first time ever, I wasn’t itching to get the hell out of there. I drank Coke, chatted with others, and just in general had a good time.
So my message to all of you out there struggling is this: Things can get better. Even for the most treatment resistant of us (including myself), odds are greatly in our favor that there is a medication out there that can help. It may take a LONG time of trying different ones, but if you stick with it, you can recover. The last 6 years saw a lot of doctors trying to get me stabilized. It took me going to a teaching school’s department of psychiatry to get an awesome doctor who knows his stuff. I haven’t had this good of a doctor since I was 14 (I’m 33 now).
Please hang in there folks. There is hope. If you give up on hope, you may as well give up on your recovery and resign yourself to a crummy life. I keep driving at it because this is my only life, and dammit, I want to enjoy it. Sure there will be peaks and valleys, but with modern day treatment, the odds at recovery are better now than ever, and things will continue to improve as science advances.
I am glad you found your magical “elixir”, unfortunately I am still looking for mine. Loxitane is not available in the U.S. as a brand name, only as loxipine the generic form. I will mention it to the pdoc, he still has fanapt and abilify to go through the second generation atypicals. Although I was doing ok on risperidone and he changed me. Go figure.
Thanks for such an encouraging outlook. I’m going to print this and take it with me to visit my son this weekend in the state mental hospital. It reinforces what we have been trying to impart upon him, but I think it will carry even more weight coming from someone who has been there. Thanks again.
I was first put on Elavil back in the 80’s but, since then have been to all the other SSRis to no avail and some other newer antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills. I can’t my sleep right either since about age 12 or so also. I am not familiar with Loxitane. You wrote that it came out in 1975; so it is one of the older anti-psychotics and should be a generic. I was put on an older anti-psychotic; but, it did strange things t both my brain and body. I have been on risperidal (for many years) zyprexa (for me- might as well take a sugar pill or nothing at all) fanapt (not long enough to tell) and Seroquel (if you’re a zombie; you would be more in reality than I was! talk about a fog-San Franscisco has nothing on me!) I am now on Invega; but it is expensive and sometimes I do insomnia. My mind is much clearer now. Sometimes, I think I am beginning to grow to enjoy the insomnia. It’s better than super dense fog! I am getting a new pdoc or prescriber or whatever. This will be the fourth one in about six months! I don’t quite understand. Luckily, I still have the same faithful excellent therapist. I can tell him 99% of everything without judgement, criticism, or reproach, etc. Even in the greatest, there is always 1%. No matter how great and I do like and trust him pretty implicitly; he is still a human being. When I get this new person to prescribe my meds, I will discuss this med regime with him/her. Maybe, it will work for me. We are all still waiting for the previous records from my former mental health clinic to arrive. I was working on that release today. Somebody dropped the ball somewhere and I been in my new town six months and being going to this new place six months! I gotta go, take a few meds and watch that “idiot psychologist” Dr Phil on Jerry Kimmel Live. Man, he is dangerous to those of us who are unfortunately seriously mentally ill! Thanks for what you have posted. You are very helpful!
I’m on Loxitane, a medication that came out in 1975. It’s similar to Clozapine. My pdoc told me how it hits the D4 receptors harder than the D2 receptors, which is what Clozapine does too. Also in the footprints of Clozapine, it hits serotonin receptors too, causing fewer movement side effects. I either can’t afford the new meds, or they cause untoward weight gain. I’m doing everything I can to not get diabetes. Recent blood work has shown that I’m not even close to getting diabetes.