It’s all I think about… I hear the voices… I try to cope and I am still having almost uncontrollable urge to cut myself hoping to die.
Yeah Ive been there. Just dont do it. You need meds or the voices wont stop, by the way. Mine stopped when I got on 120mg of Geodon. I sometimes think about cutting myself, I have some intrusive thoughts about it.
When I was a teenager I used cutting as a way to relieve the overwhelming emotions that I experienced. Learning new coping mechanisms really helped me.
One of the techniques that originally worked for me was to scream and yell as loudly as a could in a place that was as remote as I could find. After I couldn’t yell anymore I would usually cry and then I would need to take a nap. After my nap, I wouldn’t say that I felt good, but I didn’t feel the knot in my chest and I didn’t feel the need to cut either. I’m pretty sure that is considered part of primal rage therapy (don’t know for sure).
This may not work for you, and I’m not by any means certified to give medical advice, but this helped me for a time until I was able to handle my emotions in a different way. One of the reasons I was cutting was because I didn’t know how to properly express anger and frustration and I had a lot of repressed trauma.
Don’t let a voice turn into an urge…
I would tell the voices something like “So what’s in it for you? A big laugh? haha…I’m not here to entertain your sick pleasures…maybe you can’t feel pain but are tormented nonetheless so you want to cause pain in others…sorry, it aint gonna work that way, so just chill out and go off somewhere and stop bothering people…”
And you might have to do that over and over but i’ve seen it work. don’t let the voices and/or entities master you…You master them…
I tried almost ever medication except for the old school class and nothing get rid of my voices…
Thanks… I might try this,
Thanks for your advice and input…
In one of my groups a lady said that when she lived in NYC she would go where two trains passed one another and she would scream when they passed so no one would hear her! It makes me giggle to think about it in a city full of people but whatever works.
Me, I have a comfort box full of goodies. I take out the box whenever an urge to self-harm comes over me. In the box I have an assortment of stuff to keep me occupied until the urges pass, which usually last 15-30 minutes then I’m out of the danger zone. In the comfort box which I painted black and decorated with peacock feathers I’ve got a deck of cards, pictures to look through, pop rocks to chew on, play doh, silly putty, slime, balls to throw that light up to. Its an assortment of tactile stuff to keep my hands busy, and stuff to keep my other senses busy. Scented candles too (I don’t burn them, just smell them). After I’m out of the danger zone I try to journal and reflect on why I wanted to harm myself. It takes a lot of practice to get into the routine of going to my box when the urge to SI/SU hits.
It’s strange they wouldn’t try you on some typicals…assuming that’s what you mean by old school class.
Usually when no medication stops the experiences it’s because it’s spiritual in nature…thus the suggestion I gave… and it takes some work…when you approach it as a game that you have to win and take it from there, the voices will either go away or you won’t be bothered by them. i have found among a few people I’ve known that they will subside or even stop altogether if you don’t let yourself be bothered or influenced by them. This also shows there seems to be an external intelligence behind them when they react this way.
Or if you get into even deeper shamanistic type practice, make the voices do your work, don’t you do their work.
I know someone like that. A good friend actually. He only responds to haldol. It works pretty well for him.
Promise yourself not to do it.
I find that an open ended promise like that is hard or overwhelming. You need to make a close to it, like baby steps. Like I’m not going to harm myself for the next hour, then 24 hours. then 48 hours, etc…
I would find long comments hard or overwhelming… just my case…
If I were you, I would contact your/a psychiatrist immediately - the right meds can do wonders
having cut myself up, in quite an extreme way, my scars are a foot and a half long. so cutting i do not recommend.
as for suicide life is hard but there are many beautiful things which by the way cost nothing, the beauty of nature , rainbows , the beach and the endless oceans, watching a bird soar in to the sky…it is endless…
I never had self harming problem,but i think dont do it,if needed call your hospital or case manager right away to find a solution
I finally stopped when I got scared the wounds would become infected and I would get gangrene. Nobody paid any attention to me about the cutting which I think was a good thing.
Maybe it needs to be your own affair.