I’m having a real strong urge to cut. I don’t think I’ve been this close in years. A few days ago. I grabbed a knife I had next to me from eating, and I ran it across my skin without thinking. It didn’t leave a mark, but it worries me that I just did that. I don’t know what prompted it, but now I can’t get the urge to go away
The friend I usually call to talk to about those things doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and none of my online friends are online due to timezone differences. I feel so alone in this,
It’s never lasted this long without me also having psychosis or getting into a hospital or something, it’s so weird. There’s no explanation for it. I don’t know how to deal or how long distraction works.
Would anyone mind sharing their techniques to not just distract themselves, but also lessening the urges?
Maybe try to talk some sense into me?
One member here had a purple marker (purple was her favorite color) and would use it to draw the slashes on her skin instead of cutting. She said it helped because then she could see after all the damage she avoided causing herself, plus she got to see her favorite color which was calming.
I still get the urge sometimes, not often, but occasionally it gets real bad. When it happens I text the crisis line and they can talk me down. Putting an ice pack on the back of my head helps also.
I haven’t actually cut ever since my dad sat me down and talked to me about it. He said that it was his job as a parent to hurt anyone who hurt his kid, but that he was getting confused because the person hurting his kid was his kid. He also said that if I ever killed myself, he would immediately kill himself too, because he couldn’t live in a world where his child was dead. I don’t know why that hit me so hard, but it did. He made me promise to outlive him. And even though he’s been dead for nearly 13 years, I am still keeping my promise.
I used to cut, but “grew out of it” in a way. You tried one of those really strong elastic bands you can ping on your wrist? Or even an ice cube on the skin can help. I used to smear pigs blood all over my chest as well.
You just gotta challange it. Or as last resort like i used to do, was simply chuck all the sharp knifes out…
I don’t know how to help, or what to say. But I just want you to know that a certain llama likes you, thinks you’re a good person, and doesn’t think you deserve to be in pain.
I wish I had more to offer you, But here’s a hug if you need one, and a silly pic for a dopamine bump.
