I have a lot of time but I can’t do things I used to enjoy doing. I can’t walk as I have severe foot pain. I can’t read as my head is not right. I feel stressed when I watch tv as I often don’t understand what is going on. I feel strained. I only feel comfortable lying on my bed. But it often gives me a headache. I don’t converse easily. Often feel like I have nothing to say. I feel i am dead. I don’t want to spend like thirty years living like this. it’s difficult for me to do little things. I can’t find value to my suffering. I don’t get it why endure? I’m confused. I wish there is some help for those who want to end their lives.
In my bad periods I thought I would never get better. There seemed no end in sight to my suffering. I went through times when I couldn’t work or do anything productive. But somehow, my bad times passed. Like Winston Churchill said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going”. And that’s what I did. And bad times passed. There’s no guarantees that any of us will get better. All of us feel hopeless sometimes, for even months or a year at a time. When I relapsed in 1988 it was pretty bad. I had several hospitalizations and life was agonizing. The same every day. Throwing up, psyche wards. Day programs where I was in agony and uncomfortable. Being put in restraints. And I had the extra burden of drug addiction.
I can’t tell you how I made it through. I certainly had no tricks that made anything easier. But i did it. And I had some good times after that and I’m glad I stuck around. My suffering seemed pointless too. It was not noble, it was not useful. But like they say, “The night is always darkest right before the dawn”. Things change, opportunities come.
You endure because you are supposed to and you have to. You have to survive. I don’t know what else to say. I have thought ever since I got sick that I was never made to survive. I’ve always thought that I didn’t have the same tools as everybody else to survive. But here I am. You can do it too. It’s a given that life can get really bad. But the key word is “endure”. I wish you good luck.
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Thanks for your reply, @77nick77.
Thanks for your thoughtful words.
Is there any way to help your foot so you can walk again? That might be the small thing that will help something big happen.
I’m sorry to hear your having a hard time.
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When you can’t see the light your blinds are closed. Meaning when we as people struggle with this, we cannot see beyond the next hill. But make an effort your very best. Do all you can to survive through these hard times. When you give up hey, that’s all she wrote.
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Wondered the same thing as @SurprisedJ. It would help increase your quality of life to find relief with that.
I have heard of ACT ( acceptance and commitment therapy) being used by people to cope with chronic pain. It’s a mindful; therapy and also used to treat schizophrenia as well as other mental disorders. So is anther options for you If you have run out of avenues to look into.
I am on SSI for a physical disability and psychological reasons as well, so
I can empathize with your feelings and views. I sometimes wonder if I am actually a ghost that haunts my own house that nobody lives in but maybe another ghostly creature that I can feel is here with me at times. It’s not good for me to live alone for long stints of time, because it allows for more intense delusional thinking caused by lack of any normal persons defusing of such thinking, although I do value the serenity and solitude when it comes around.
Hi @SurprisedJ
I have heard in a group sharing that a lady with plantar fasciitis fully recovered after taking a medicine prescribed by a professor in the medical school. I have asked for the details and hopefully I’ll try the medication. But it will take some time as we will see each other in two weeks time.
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Actually, I want to tell u that I have joined some group activities for people with mental health problems recently. I’m gardening, drinking fresh herbal tea and eating the veggi we planted today. I was making dream catcher in a handicraft group last week. I’m not feeling easy but at least I’m there. I have not found any useful therapy so far but today my case worker suggested that we can meet more often. So I’ll have someone to talk to.
This is some progress I’m trying out. @SurprisedJ nd @Dreamscape
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I’m glad your finding some people to connect with. Gardening helps my mind a lot. It’s calm work, and it will burn off calories.
When your finished… you have some beautiful flowers or some vegetables to eat.
Having other humans to talk to… It’s good to get a support group. I’m glad you found this… I’m happy for you.
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You need to see a podiatrist, and not the other kind of foot doctor (can’t think of the term).
I have plantar fascia and the pain is akin to biting down on something sweet on a cavity, it is terrible.
The podiatrist will mold each foot, then give you a plaster insole you will need to wear in all your shoes, it comes out, and you can clean them, but don’t get them wet. You will notice relief after just a few hours of wearing them, or you should. You will still get heel pain sometimes if you wear sandals for a few days, or if you forget to be in your insoles. Ask doc more.
I got it from being a runner, but also I think my club foot had something to do with it. I thought I would never run again. You will be a believe in modern medicine and want to kiss this doctor!
Life will get better!
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I had this problem about three years ago, It was extremely painful. I had to miss a month of work, I was lucky that my boss held my job open for me. But my foot has completely healed. To get better my foot doctor had me ice my foot three times a day, he had me do stretching exercises, and he told me to not go barefoot, anywhere. He had me buy special shoes with special supportive insoles like someone mentioned. And I bought special supported flip-flops to wear indoors. But yeah, I wore these supported shoes for two years before my foot healed and I could buy regular shoes again. Now, I have no trace of any problem with either foot.