I'm having a bad day

Unfortunately today is bad. I got woken up from a nightmare based on my trauma i woke up in a full panic attack. The noise from the voices was unbearable. Once I calmed myself down a bit I came on here and I got triggered by something I saw on here. then I dissociated went to therapy (cause apparently one of my alters took over and drive me there???) then came back to reality half way through my session. My therapist looked at me like I grew a 2nd head. And now I’m fighting the urge to relapse into self harm and trying not to dissociate again. And the voices keep bringing up bad things now. God I hate this I just want to have one not horrible day.

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I’d put some music on that lacks lyrics… Techno or classical… maybe traditional music of whatever region.

I’d avoid smoking or drinking caffeine…

I’d also bundle up in bed and try to meditate and focus on the consistency of physical reality. My sheets are still here my arms are still crossed… I can breath… I should count a breath or two…

You can and will pull out of this… You seem to have the intensity and uncertainty running high… You gotta relax bro.

Anyone in your life around to watch over you? Parents, Siblings, or friends? Anyone you can call and bother for a 25 minute talk?

Coping mechanisms… In the long term you just need to find your coping mechanisms… The greatest one’s are faith and raw patience.

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@Azley definitely good advice, be patient with your self . You will get a good day it just takes time. Do you or have you a support person / group you might attend . If you cannot find away to meditate maybe a group or support person can talk you thru some other coping skill steps that might help?

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I second @sweldon001

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Sometimes positive thinking just doesn’t cut it. Do all the coping you can. Music provides an alternative mood.

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Music can help , but sometimes music can also set you off worse too. Just use caution and try to thing in a comfortable way not to set your self off into a worsening state.

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After a terrible day at work (And almost everyday was bad.) I’d take a hot shower or bath if you have one, and that would help at least a little. Hope things get better for you soon, hang in there.

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Yeah, I was thinking of using one’s personal library of music. Choose your own.

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Sorry I kind of dissociated again.

I am listening to some music now . The Pokemon red soundtrack to be exact. It’s helping with the voices but I still hear them talking about me

I don’t smoke but i drank some caffeine already but I won’t drink more cause it made me feel shittier

I’m definitely going to do the meditation thing. I feel fuzzy my world seems like it’s swirling atm it seems distant

I’m trying to relax I don’t want another panic attack but I don’t think I can stop it I keep flashing back I hate this I just want to put my head through a wall but I’m trying to stay ok

I dont have anyone around and I don’t have anyone I can call. And i live with my parents but I don’t want to see them cause I don’t think I can handle it. Cause they caused my trauma and I don’t want to do something stupid and get kicked
Out

I used to have good coping mechanisms but now I’m getting worse and I want to die cause everything is terrible I’m never going to get treated like a real person and I’m never going to amount to anything.

I’m sorry I’m just really not ok and I know you’re try g to help I feel so rude right now I’m sorry

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Thank you. I don’t have anyone though no one knows how to deal with me.

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Music is helping Pokemon always make me feel a little better.

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I’ll try a shower when I feel a little more stable I’m not sure about everything right now

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. Bad days always suck. When I start the day with a flashback nightmare, nothing really helps except waiting for the next new day.

I’ve been having fewer flashback nightmares since I started trauma group. Maybe there is something like that near you. It could help you in the future.

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I just hate this its so ■■■■■■■ painful. I keep remembering this and then the voices have the ■■■■■■■ nerve to laugh at me what’s so funny it’s so messed up I don’t want to think about how I deserved it and how they didn’t care. It’s stupid I hate it.

Idk if a group would help someone like me nobody cares i deserved it. I’m just an idiot that needs to get over it.

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Sorry ninja I didn’t mean to blow up at you I’m just so messed up right now. I’ll try it.

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Babe you need to start trying to love yourself. I know it’s hard but it’s really the best advice I can give you.

Once I started to love myself it was a lot easier going though my mental illness. Please don’t be so hard on yourself! Positive thoughts can be addictive, if you get into the habit of loving yourself after a while your brain does it without you even really noticing.

Just like right now you might be having difficulties with negative thoughts about yourself since you’ve trained your brain knowingly or not that you don’t deserve good.

You can unlearn this though. It’s hard but try and think something nice about yourself next time you see your reflection. Even if you don’t mean it at the beginning. It will get easier. I love you.

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sorry i left stupid pc rebooted. If the Pokeymon red music is helping also try deep breathing. Take long deep breathes in thru the noise then hold it in for a second and let it out the mouth slowly.whilst listening to your breathing not the voices.

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I just hope I am helping . Deep breathing help most of time, you should try to focus on it . It’ll make you a bit sleepy if you do it to quickly, but np take a good nap you deserve it.

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Some things I do to calm down are:

Put an ice pack on the back of your head. This will cool down your brain and reduce activity in your limbic system, where emotions happen.

Do a task with simple, clear steps. I like baking. I follow the recipe, and it’s easy enough that I don’t get frustrated, but it requires enough concentration that I don’t have room to think about other things. Cleaning also helps.

Engage your five senses. This will remind you what is real and what isn’t. Listen to soothing music. Smell something pleasant, like an essential oil. Suck on a hard candy. Look at pictures of things you enjoy. Feel something with an interesting texture, like a piece of Velcro or a stress ball.

Maybe some of these will help you?

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I really don’t hate myself though. I’m just so tired of this and nothing is going to fix it. I try to be positive i can’t help but be a realist sometimes though.

But I didn’t train my brain to be like this everyone else in my life forced me into this it’s hard not to believe it at some point. I’m trying so hard but I can’t do it I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I’m sorry I’ll try to be nicer to myself. Thank you.

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