Spacey, what do you mean?
I get kinda slow and unfocused. Just spaced out. My speech gets softer and I’m not able to be as attentive. Happens when I start to get sick too. I hallucinate visually pretty bad too.
Is it due to anxiety
Sorry to hear that.
I think it’s from overstimulation. My brain goes into overdrive type thing trying to focus on what’s around me and appear normal. I’m good at day treatment. But I was at the social security office for 45 minutes a couple weeks ago. I almost hit a person and a car getting out of the parking lot. When I got back to day treatment I played cards with a staff member and had difficulty keeping up. I just loose functioning. It’s weird. I’m fine most the time though. I don’t do a whole lot to test it out. If I drive on the road for an hour the same thing happens.
That’s why I can’t work. I eventually don’t function but keep pushing. Pretty soon I’m hallucinating and start believing people around me are messing with me or trying to influence me. It’s delusional. Like playing music to affect me ect. People start reading my mind and I feel exposed and naked. It gets bad.
It only happens when I do those things or get out in public too long. I can go on walks but not around busy streets cause overstimulation. So I haven’t had an episode like that since social security, but I do start to hallucinate after cleaning my dads office or mowing it. It’s minor though and I feel fine in a few hours or the next day. That’s why I take it easy. I take breaks between most the stuff I do.
Yeh balance is a good thing. Breaks are important
I’m not like weird or anything though or special needs. Most people say I’m not crazy or you can’t tell I have schizophrenia. I’m fine most the time cause I don’t push it often and don’t have to. It’s kinda like being burned out the spacey thing. Like a burned out drug addict. Like ozzy osbourne
Yeh maybe the pressure just gets to u.
I’m sensitive to that also.
Yeah maybe the pressure of the environment. It’s like literal pressure or stress.
Yeh… Like with welfare there is pressure cos u want the welfare so bad. It can be a bit tricky to remain relaxed.
See that pressure doesn’t make me symptomatic though. It’s in the least abstract way. Like feeling literal pressure. Like stress. It’s the environment and what I have to do more so than just regular stress.
Ahh okay fair do.
It really doesn’t make sense. I can go to day treatment, participate, read whatever I’m comfortable. But if I had to sit in an auditorium and listen to a lecture I couldn’t do it. The last movie I saw in theaters was the first transformers. I enjoy lectures on YouTube and stuff like that though. My brain literally won’t relax in certain environments.
Sounds rough about the auditorium.
Glad uve got some ability to do some things without interruption or too much interrupting tho
Yeah day treatment has been a lifesaver cause I’m able to get out in groups and participate comfortably. I know pretty much everyone there though and I’m good friends with a lot of them. Been going since 2012. Makes the real world more bearable too.
I don’t want to sound like I can’t do anything. I just don’t go to parties really, or concerts, don’t go to crowded shows. I limit some things I am willing to do. This was all through trial and error. I’ll still eat at a restaurant or go to a store or go shopping. I won’t do it for three hours but I do stuff regularly. Just usually not all day or I take breaks. I’ll go hiking for hours though or camping or something low stress or go to the park and play disc golf for a couple hours.
Sounds not too bad :))
I’m especially happy u have the day centre.
Lots of understanding ppl there I’m sure
Likewise for me, I’ve got some mental support charities that run certain activities so that’s pretty chill.
I’m off to loo and bed. Night! %))
Goodnight. 151515