Just had a major panic attack. Was laying in bed and suddenly noticed it looked like my neighbors house was on fire through the window. It was very bright. So i rushed over, looks like they just are having a back yard fire that burned bright for a minute. Still feels unsafe as hell. They have a lot of trees and a lot of absolute garbage laying arounf their yard from what i can see. The fire is pretty close to their peach tree, which hands very close to my house. I swear my house is going to catch fireone day maybe tonight ! and the vision i had in 2018 will come true. My dog comforted me during my panic attack. I love her
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Then like 5 minutes later i got a text saying a THrEE year old was shot 4 miles away
Those sound like two very unrelated things…
Anything you can do to calm down and relieve anxiety? Like some calm music or something?
If there’s a fire I’m sure they’ll notice and the fire department would be right over.
I can understand why your stressed
Just take some deep breaths, you might have to stay up to keep an eye out for any fire to put your mind at ease thats what i do when theres anything in my neighbourhood
Try not to worry
They are unrelated but just shows how unsafe my neighborhood is. Almost every day there is a house or tree fire so close i can smell it, usually within a mile. Like literally a few blocks away. There was a drive by shooting a couple days ago very near. Gunshots off and on theoughout the night that i hear, see a report, and then hear sirens sometimes. On new years on the NEXT street over i heard abour 15 gunshots and maybe 10 minutes later heard a cop saying over a megaphone “come out one at a time”. I mean those are just highlights. Its like an hourly occurance lf violence near me. I dont want to leave the house. I dont even fele safr taking my dogs to potty in the yard. I go to work 18 hours a week where i am exposed to even more violence, such as a customer slitting their wirsts in the restroom, or smoking drugs, or throwing things at random people, or calling in threats, on top of the usual entitled rude ass customers who have nothing better to do than yell at me for their own misunderstandings. I dont take ■■■■anymore from them. I dont give a ■■■■.
@Moon i hope you don’t mind me replying
That is a nightmare i don’t know how you deal with violence on a daily basis ?
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Dissociation and psychosis, basically. I grew up around daily violence. So i know the drill. I dont like it though.
Is there anywhere safer to live and work?
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I dont know. I feel stuck. My income is so low and this place is a steal. I got lucky finding it, my landlord is a friend of a friend and he hasbeen incredibly accomodating, i still owe him some back rent and hes super chill about it. I got it down from $900 to $300 so he knows im good for it. Im looking for a new job, i spent hours looking today online and absoltuely nothing seems even plausible with my limitations, physically, mentally, financially.
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You’ve done well getting most of that paid back!
Once its all paid i would think save up like crazy to move cos there has to be better places to live also where a decent job is available within your remit
Thats all i can think
Im sorry if i sound naively optimistic its just ive always been one to move around places, ive lived east, south, north a few places. Finally sort of settled now
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I would recommend getting some professional advice around finances, housing low income help out there etc
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Something similar happened to me today. I was driving down a road in the forest when I saw a huge fire. At first I thought it was a forest fire but as I moved by it was just a fireplace with a huge fire. Didn’t look safe, but I trusted their judgement lol
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I really feel like im going to snap. Today at work was terrible and i almsot had a sensory meltdown. Im in a lot of pain from being so busy at work. They just switched me back to mornings and the change in routine plus it being so busy in the morning is reqllt making me overwhelmed. Almsot had another meltdown just down over the sound of my tv. Hearing voices off and on. Im just really not sure how to handle this
When I lived way across town we had a firebug. He dset three houses surrounding us on fire. We had embers floating around.
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