I woke up again

I don’t know why i keep waking up.

It’s not a choice really.

I don’t want to wake up anymore.

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Dear Pansy,
I hope you would have found many things to do after making the above statement :smiley: By the way, what are you hobbies? What do you like most?

Please feel free to say if you don’t want me to call you Pansy - I just found it a cool short name for you :slight_smile:

I used to think about how I never chose to be born. I wanted to die for years and years. I can’t really pinpoint a time or reason that changed but eventually it did. I hope you can hang on till your views change.


Is it morning where you are?

I wake up when the sun is going down.

And i go to bed when it rises.

**Sounds like my son. And I`m glad you woke up! :blush: **

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The world is much more vivid and colourful under the sun. The green plants, trees , rivers all are our friends if you understand their languages. Pans, you don’t have a good family, but you have a world who whispers to you and accompanies you. When the sun goes down, everything goes to sleep so you can’t find their beauty and dancing arms and legs. You’d better get up when the sun rises .

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It wasn’t by choice.

I was stolen and taken into the night.

It’s just me and them all night, they won’t leave me be, they took me into the night.

They are butchering me and leaving me sick so i went into the night, my being changed.

I used to be up during the day but after the pain i went into the night. I couldn’t have imagined staying up those hours but pain changes us. It just happened naturally im afraid, my core just gravitated there all of a sudden.

I loved the day back then, i really did, but now all i am is burnt, whithered to a knub, freaked out, traumatized, so i go to the night.

First, to try to be stable under medication and get some good sleep everyday; second, to adjust to a good routine that has the company of sunshine.

Remember, you have some friends in this world, also you have the company of this beautiful world in the form of small things like a bite of chocolate, a sip of coffee or tea, a ray of golden sunshine, a drop of morning dews, a piece of wonderful music…

I guess a little Seroquel tablet (like 25mg ) in addition to your Risperidone would do you good in obtaining good sleep at night. Try to ask your pdoc for Seroquel next time you see him.

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