I will get hospitalized in two days

I’ve been unstable and unwell for the past couple of months. But I went to work(training) as much as possible and was trying to stay as if nothing had happned.
But I was getting worse and worse, so I took a month off from work just a week ago, and I started to feel even worse after that cos I have no idea how to spend long hours alone at my apartment without doing anything.
I can’t even do much housework now, and am at a loss for what to do, so today I called my social worker for help. She suggested I should stay in hospital for a week or so, in order to eat and sleep well, for I haven’t eaten well for the past week.

I’ve been doing good and not being in hospital for the past 4 years. So I’m a little shocked about this hospitalization. I know it can’t be helped if it’s really needed, but I’m still really disappointed in myself and my current situation.

For the past 4 years, I always thought I could’ve done better. I was never really satisfied with what I was doing. But now, I’m really grateful for what I got during that period. Now I’ve lost it, I realize how blessed I was with things I could do.

In hospital, I’ll try to get better again and get back the things that were once in my hands.

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Make the most of your stay, be open with the doctors.

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Being by myself for most of the day will make me talk to myself a lot and that alone disturbs me even more, so I try not to. I have plenty of work to do just not a lot of motivation. I have a lot of windows and screened doors that I leave open all day to feel like a part of the environment. This helps me a great deal in feeling like I am a part of it all instead of being all closed in,in an air conditioned home.

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Best of luck to you! At least you took a month off and called the doc and did everything you could so that the hospital visit is more voluntary and planned. Try to embrace your time there. Talk to the people and engage in the activities. I regret not doing that, although for the first week of my stay I thought I was in a Russian death camp with vivid hallucinations, so that made it hard to interact.

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Bananatto, it takes an adult to be responsible enough to seek help when needed. You are a shining example of what may be possible. Four years out of the hospital is impressive.

SoitGoes, your advice not only makes me smile, it makes my eyes smile when my mouth cannot.

tobornottob12b, it may help to go for a fitnees/exercise walk.

Tool, your first sentence sums up a general feeling, something that has been felt by nearly all by your age.

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i hope you are feeling better soon… :heart:.
i am sending you a rainbow :rainbow:
take care :alien:

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I wish I was that brave. But also I’ve tried to go inpatient about four or five times in the 9 years since being in a hospital setting. Hospitals scare me so it is hard. I don’t have symptoms often but I liked the idea of being somewhere secure while I could be monitored and find the right medications. Sadly they are overcrowded and impossible to get helped in. If I was self harming or suicidal I might be able to get in one. I tried on the verge of an episode which I had to deal with alone because they didn’t understand. While I’m glad they don’t think I’m sick enough I would like to know that there is an option for me if I ever became psychotic and I feel I have none.

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Hey thats great! Sometimes we need to go outside of our ‘safety zone’ to move forward.

I know that you will feel better for it,if they allow internet access where you are going keep us up to date on your progress.

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**You are doing the best thing you can for yourself @bananatto.
I get a feeling that things will feel a little different for you this time. You are not being forced-you are going to take care of yourself.
Please don`t feel disappointed! Like a lot of illness~, you are just having a relapse-but you are going to take care of it.
Much love :sunflower: **

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Thank you everyone for warm comments :heart:

Actually, I went to see a doctor yesterday just to ask him to get me into hospital but he said I wouldn’t need to be hospitalized!
He said we should first try to increase my Abilify dosage from 7.5mg to 12mg. That’s it!!
Then if things won’t improve, we may think about hospitalization again, as one option, not the only one.

Well it’s funny when you are totally willing to get into hospital, they try to think about other options for you. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes.
I’m glad that now I can see hospitalization as one treatment option, not something I try to avoid no matter what.

Today I feel a little better. I wonder if the 12mg Ability has already been kicking in…
No side effects so far.
I hope I’ll get back on track soon…
But I’ll be patient.

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Do what you need to. If you feel like it would be a relief for you, do it.

After my schizo turned paranoid with strangers bothering me, I tried for long time to keep juggling everything and just got trashed by other’s behaviors in multiple places. I tried again and again only to have latest attempt screwed with by another drone who doesn’t care what his mental problem is causing other people. Then met enough men in my community who were opportunistic predators and just followed orders from voices to do almost anything to another…We just have to accept this is how other people think they have to act, especially the younger folks, and make the needed changes to our lives to limit the damage.

Realized, I had to take the steps necessary so I could afford to be okay. Living alone is too expensive any more and frequently disrupted by creepy & loudly annoying kids so better not to live in apartment again. Lots of women got married at this point as the men looking us up after this point are sometimes mentally disturbed predators/players and better to accept the good guy already dating when you realize this. Two sharing housing kept things affordable and two people are less likely to deal with a lot of harassment from strangers when in public.

Doing school and work is just too much of a problem when screwed with by a coworker badly to use up my precious time I needed for class, then threatened so badly I was afraid to stay in the job. Or 20 classmates in the room yelling crap at me and instructor who started to call on me each time…Toxic is how things are after schizo.

Eventually, we all have to stand back and reassess everything so we can remain healthy as a lot of the world is toxic to us. I am now only working or taking classes to get better jobs, not both at once. I also don’t socialize or work on causes any more after getting screwed more than once or saw such horrifying stuff out of some of the men here hunting up some more opportunities leaving some ruined for a while, I did not want anything to do with any of the strangers any more. Had to return to place with no jobs, my hometown, to live free with parents. I don’t work locally, there are too many looney tooney people who drive businesses bankrupt so I’m no longer taking any risks dealing with the inner-workings here. I work remotes and work VERY hard to establish this kind of arrangement. I also only take online classes as I was sexually harassed so bad at one school due to discrimination, I really thought he would flunk me when he stopped following the syllabus and let the other students talk nutty in class.

You need to take care of you…Maybe it is time to look into taking disability pay and only work part-time a little later when you feel you can cope better… (Discuss it with your caseworker. Also discuss how you can remain living independently as caseworkers have access to lots of good resources in community…) Hospital is great opportunity for you right now, allow someone to take care of your for a little while and go from there when ready.

Peace. Rest. Recharge.

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