So I talked with my mother today. She agrees that I should go into the hospital sooner rather than later, before I get so bad that I can’t make the decision for myself. So it looks like I’m going in. Not tonight, we’re gonna wait a few more days, but some time next week is likely. I probably won’t stay in for long, a few days, maybe a week at most, just until I can get on meds that work better (I’m going to specifically request Abilify) and can stabilize.
But I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m giving up. That I should be able to handle it on my own, that I can hold on and just ride it out at home. But last episode I was suicidal most of the time, and I self harmed a lot. I don’t want to go through that again. But it just feels wrong. I guess I just have to get over it, and do what I need to do, and get help. It’s not the end of the world.
Yes please seek help ? Just imagine not even having to try to be stable but really BE stable.?
Going into the hospital is not giving up at all. Schizophrenia is not something you can control or reason with. There is no holding out. It makes you do what it wants you to do and that is the end of it. Letting schizophrenia take control of you is giving up. Giving in to it is giving up. What you are doing (going into the hospital) is very brave. It’s not fun in there. But it is the best place for you right now. And when you get out (hopefully in a short time) you will be better and have a clearer head.
Not giving up at all.
You need different meds, the hospital has the meds, go to the hospital. Keep it simple.
Why suffer if you don’t have to?
Hi. yeah, it may be a good decision to go in. I PERSONALLY when I first got sick and then 8 years later when I relapsed would never go in until the last minute. I would only go in if I felt like any minute I was going to break down or go over the edge. When I felt weak and sick. But other people might have the right idea about what I call a,“preemptive strike” . Going in before you get desperate. I mean go in while you still have a little “leeway” in your mental state. . Maybe that way your stay might not be so long and severe.
I think it’s a smart idea. I was in the early stages of psychosis prior to my last hospitalization. The voices were getting louder and I was getting more and more paranoid. People around me realized this and they made the decision that I was to be hospitalized for a bit to get things sorted out. If I had waited, there’s a chance I could have done something drastic as my past history dictates.
You are NOT giving up. Giving up would mean letting your illness consume you and letting yourself fall into a black hole of no return. By pro-actively making the move to get into a hospital and get your medication adjusted shows that your self-worth is high. You’re worth more than living in misery.
Thanks for all the replies. The place I’m going to is very nice, I don’t know what the room situation is like, if it’s single rooms or if I’d have a roommate, but I should be fine either way. I’ll miss the internet, I wouldn’t suppose they’d allow cell phones or anything like that, but I’ll be okay. And maybe getting away from the internet for a little while would do me good.
I’ll just say what the others have, it’s not giving up at all. You’re smart and show great insight to seek help when you need it.
The hospital, overall, will not be a fun experience, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable one. Having the right outlook can change things incredibly. Remember that it’ll only be temporary and that the rules are there to help things operate smoothly on the unit. Many of the rules will seem lame and unnecessary but they’ve got good reasons for each one. Just relax, do what they ask of you, and you’ll get better and get out in short order.
Also, don’t spend too much time in your room or asleep. Doctors love it when you get out, socialize, and try to participate. Make your bed each morning too, doctors simply adore that.
As for phones, they might let you use a cell in a private area but because of the need to focus on healing, contact with the outside is somewhat limited. Also many phones have cameras and due to privacy concerns they usually don’t allow them to be used. There will be pay phones you can call out from.
Agreed. Last time I was in the hospital the first few days were rough, and they wouldn’t even give me an estimate on how long I’d be there. But after I got on a meds schedule again, I woke up every day, made my bed, took showers…things I sometimes am not good at. I also went to all the groups and therapies. I was out within 2 weeks and feeling a whole lot better. But don’t focus on how long you’ll be in there, focus on getting better, even if it takes months, it will be worth it.
Hi Rowan, when someone from the old forums went into the hospital several years ago, they had a computer inside the hospital which the person used to keep us posted on how they were doing.
There was a computer in the long term facility I stayed at and I wrote a few posts on the forum during that time. We could use it half and hour a week if a staff member was free to supervise.
Last time I was in the hospital, the internet had not been invented yet. It was 1989. I don’t even know if they had cell phones way back then. Beepers were popular, I know that much.
It’s not giving up, it’s taking a shorter, better path to recovery. Good strategy that leads to a victory is NOT surrender!
Good luck to you, I hope you feel better soon.
I just remembered to say that when I was in the hospital ward I could receive calls.
It’s hard to ask for help. You’ve been managing this mostly on your own for so long. But due to insurance and other things lining up in your favor… you now have the option of getting some more intensive help before things amp up.
I’d say go for it. Take advantage of the timing of everything and take advantage of the ability to go.
I do hope you feel better soon… also maybe look at it this way…
go in under your own power and be there for a few days… go in not under your own power and be there against your will for a very long time.
I am rooting for you to feel better very soon.