And we got on really well. We chatted about books, and film, and gaming, and philosophy etc. But he wants to study/retrain in craft and is leaving his job of 7 years. Am I shallow for hoping for a man who can be a good, traditional provider type? They call girls like us gold diggers.
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that depends on what you mean by “provider” type…and it also depends on him. a gold digger in general terms Is a women who “abuses” or “uses” the guy based on the financial situation…this can be perceived differently based on the man and the women. I don’t know you or him…but that’s just the way I see things.
Well, I mean the way things were between men and women before women’s lib. Although I am working myself to the best of my ability. It is only in a bakery.
well it depends on him…HE may not want that. He may have certain standards for a women. Like for an example I went out with 1 woman who let me pay most of the things but I let her/made her pay smaller things. then I was with another women who would get angry because she thought I was being a typical “man” because I paid most of the things. it may be too early to say anything but there would always be compromises…
get to know him better, you may think differently…
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It’s your life. If you’re not happy with that then simply add it to your list of criteria for the next time. Gotta listen to your heart.
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I was like that too. When meeting someone new, I always checked their job and car, lol.
I am no longer like that but I do appreciate if someone is smart, works hard, or is talented with some vision.
Some people who do crafts are billionaires btw.
@Diana_Ross7 I think it’s fairly normal for a woman to look for some financial stability in a partner, women’s lib or not, lack of financial stability can cause problems too. I mean you work too. But it does sound like it was a good date being able to talk about a lot of common interests and he did work 7 years and wants to pursue something else maybe, that is promising. Glad you had a good time.
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Most households these days need dual income,
Especially if you plan on having children.
At least in some capacity, maybe part time work.
You should be more open to that idea as most people are not looking for a partner they have to fully support and take care of, thus the word partner.
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This is exactly why men with sz are less likely to have partners. Women want protection and they want it from men. Misogynistic statement, but that is how i feel after reading theough this thread. where are the independent women beyonce talks about?
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This manner of thinking is not typical,
I can take care of myself and anyone else who comes along.
Don’t let the opinions of a few get you down.
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Ty, that makes me feel better
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It’s a different world these days and I think you’ll find it’s more of a communal effort. My ex earned way more money than me and I was dependant on that. Not good as she was shite with money, but that was the way it was. As someone has previously suggested…many households are two income just to get ahead these days. Just the decline of the middle classes.
Well, the question isn’t whether its acceptable or not, but what is the provider to provide? Would you say be happy in a little cabin, that was warm safe and comfortable, and all the bills were paid, your needs were met, and you had a little money left over each month to go out on the town for a date night. Or, do you expect the finer things like constant shopping, fine meals, all of your WANTS and needs fulfilled, even If it meant being in debt? I don’t think its bad to want roles in the home, and as far as what other people think and expect, well, judge not right? To each their own as long as the people are happy, no one is getting used, abused or hurt. Heck, I like the simple life, sitting on the porch drinking cold ice tea and enjoying the quiet, not worrying because my bills are covered each month. If he is going to retrain, then it would be tough at first, but if the relationship mattered more that the lifestyle, then its worth at least seeing where it goes if you like the guy and he treats you good.
chemistry is a weird thing, especially as it gets deeper. I’m not sayings its bad…but your sometimes left asking “did I change”? did “he/ she change”? sometimes I wonder if we found the “one” or did we find ourselves? regardless if it ends in divorce…not that approve of it.
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I agree. This is not typical. Maybe 50 years ago, but not in this day and age.
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The most important part of a relationship, in my opinion, isn’t whether your partner has similar interests, or whether you’re physically attracted to them, or even how much you love them. Those things all matter, but the number one thing I always look for is whether or not we can function as a team. You want someone who does amazingly in the areas where you struggle. You want someone who can face a problem without getting defensive, shutting down, or attacking you. Being able to contribute financially is part of teamwork. But it’s only a part.
What craft field is he getting involved in? Many of those jobs are very financially stable. Part of me wonders if you’re not as concerned with how much he makes as how his job will appear to others. Being a craftsman might not have as much perceived status to you. If that’s your concern, it might just be a personal hangup for you. Personal hang ups are fine, even if they seem shallow. My personal hangup was that I couldn’t date anyone shorter than me. I fully recognize that a person’s height has no bearing on who someone is as a person, but I am very insecure over being super tall, so I only dated people that were even taller than me. You’re allowed to have your own insecurities. Just know that those insecurities might get in between you and a potentially well-matched partner.
My sister’s husband drives a delivery van. It is a seemingly low-status job. But he makes over 100k a year because he owns his own route. I wonder if you would be okay with that.
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Dang, great insight. And being tall is nothing to be insecure about, other than the stigmas kids attach to it. You are more likely to get modeling gigs, taller folks tend to be hired more, taller folks tend to project an aura of confidence or “don’t mess with that person”. Heck being tall is awesome, until you don’t notice that low hanging ceiling fan. Thwap thwap thwap. You seem like a super strong intelligent person who has overcome personal obstacles and stigmas. Very nice meeting you 
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