it started off by me going on a walk than feeling unreal i went to a stranger asking “am i ok” with a frantic face than explaining to them why i felt that way they asked if I needed to the hospital i said no
then i left being confused if im me the whole walk scared I’m gonna die at some points thinking bridges are gonna fall on top of me bt here’s where i went insane and barely remember it my boyfriend said i was joker level crazy and i traumatized him i decided to smoke a lot yesterday night my pupils got big I got this surge of energy. and started what he said was me smiling large balling a fist at him screaming "i have power i have so much power i can do anything " laughing like crazy
i felt so out of control like i could do anything this stuff keeps happening going insane last time it happened i was with friends i started yelling and shaking calling myself the devil saying i was gonna kill everyone im back on my meds now that was scary and i feel bad
I hope this teaches you that for the most of us it is dangerous to go off meds. Do you see a pdoc regularly? I think it’s important to have follow up.
im planning on staying on its crazy that i could get that way it makes no sense I’m not that person
i see a pdoc but I’m embarrassed to tell him and I’m switching doctors
I also had to switch pdocs to find one that I get along with. That’s very important that you’re able to trust them with things you might be embarrassed about.
Good luck in your search for a new pdoc! I found mine through a referral from my GP. That’s a good place to start.
Why you smoking so much weed when you just went off your meds.
Recipe for disaster
When I smoke weed my thoughts go too fast for me to use logic to dispel delusions. In my delusory state I lose context for what people say and think they’re saying something else. Generally this is fueled by paranoia so i end up completely misinterpreting everything around me. The only way for me to stay sane while high is just to sit in silence.
I’ve messed up pretty badly when I was off my med’s too. Be careful. Never think you can’t make things worse, because you always can.
Be concious of having control over yourself
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