I was in denial about how sick I was

Being aware of this is a curse. I took DXM again and I have truly learned my lesson. Never touching drugs again except caffeine and nicotine. I can’t control myself, I am so scared of faking this illness and that my parents would kick me out. I live in fear. I never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I have to take my meds or they will kick me out, I do take them however. I hide my psychosis out of fear. Please don’t be mean to me I have been gaslit my whole life. I don’t know what is real. And the reality of it has hit. I intellectually understood it but how the truth has hit and I can’t trust my own judgement. And I told my parents this and they said of course you are sick which I expected but they don’t understand me. I accepted that I did this to myself with drugs, and I was very emotional when my parents said they forgave me. I am loved.

we don’t know why people who do drugs, do or do not get mental illness.
I’d say, just don’t do it again. right?

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Yeah I am done this scared the ■■■■ out of me. At least I don’t crave them anymore.

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Calm down homie. I did a f-ckload of dxm too. You’re gonna be okay. Try to just relax. Yes we probably have an illness, so just accept it. If you surrender it will save you a lot of trouble in the long run, but normally you don’t get to the point where you’re willing to surrender until you’ve exhausted yourself or suffered enough. So if you’re at the point where you are scared but realize you are loved, let go into that love. Trust that love and the ones who give it. Take your meds. Honestly you probably won’t have a normal life but you’ll live. And it will be okay. You’ll find joy in the little things and that will be enough.

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Thank you I’ve accepted the love but at points I have my doubts. Thank you for your kind words you have taken the mystery out of my situation. I knew from the start of this illness that I would not live a normal life despite what others told me. Everyone told me you are so smart, you will life a great life. My poor family is in denial, I forgive them because God made it clear to me that they will come around and love me no matter what. DXM mental overdose was the best and worst thing to happen to me.

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