For the last one and a half years I was abused verbally so bad that caused me anuerism while im still in early 30’s and when I came to live with him in the last 4 months, he abused me again and sometimes physically covering up my moth suffocating me putting me down shaking me creating hell threatening to kill himself if I leave throwing my clothes and telling me to leave in the middle of the night then he would act like he loves me and blames me for triggering him, because of what I went through in the last 4 months I had a heart attack and I was always having panic attacks and anxiety and still, caused by him and my parents who dont approve him, now he’s acting nice for the first time he went to therapy and did tms therapy so he wont attack me no more but im so broken i cant feel love towards him or my parents which i live with them right now, i only can feel sympathy empathy for him and my parents, my life is hell and the heart medication hurt me a lot they cause sociadal thoguhtsm, i always think that i should dissapear from this life so no one can have a peice of me niether him or my parents 
I got two words for ya: trauma therapy.
On a serious note though, i am very sorry to hear you went through all that. I hope in the future you can find someone who loves and cares for you the way you deserve.
Is there where you live some support network or organisation of some kind that can help you through this, particularly with breaking up with your abuser? It sounds like you need to get a professional involved. Best wishes for the future.
Yikes. Sorry you went through all that. I don’t know what else to say.
Get out now. Go directly to a domestic abuse shelter in your area and stay there until you get your life together. I’ve been where you are. It gets better from here. God bless you.
My sister’s ex husband used to cover her mouth. When she tried to leave once he shot holes in the car tires so she couldn’t leave.
You need help. Look for organizations that help abused people.
You should report this the police, abuse its never okay in any shape or form. After you report it to police, get a professional that specializes in abuse and trauma, so you can heal. Running away from your problems doesn’t solve anything, this is from experience you got to deal with it head on to fix it. I hope for the best for you.
Thank you guys for all the support, i was pushing him to take medicine to treat his anger rages episodes and he was refusing and saying if you wont trigger me we will be fine, but now he is getting sick because he saying he cant be seperated from me or he cant live without me, he wants me back, he says he feels shame for what he did to me and he wants to make it up for me he promises me so many good things he never abused me since he got the therapy (TMS) which freezes his anger he did it for me, and asks me to run with him, i know he had changed but im so angry and traumatized becasue of him, he promises to take my hand and heal me with all of his power idk what to do im so broken and he might never get love from me…
Typical behavior of an abuser to beg for you to come back and promise change.
Don’t fall for it.
I agree with Zombie Mombie, its a trap, its a mask he is putting on so he can trap you, and control you again make you feel horrible, so he he can make him self feel good inside. Dont fall for his bullsh@t. GET RID OF HIM IMMEDIATLY. you dont need him in your life his just negative influence thats all.
I’m sorry this has/is happening to you. I myself have been in more than one emotionally abusive and violent relationships. It’s really tough. I remember for me it was hard to leave cause I loved them and they would be good for a while and it would happen again. Like they say above get some help and educate yourself on the subject of abuse, abusers act. Doing that myself has helped alot to understand what was going on and how to approach the situation differently then I would have without knowing.
that sounds terrible =/
sorry you have to go through that.
like the others said him telling he will change if you come back is unlikely…
but even if he does change it doesn’t sound like a healthy situation for you to be in.
everything comes at a price, he’s my soul and my twin, we are the most two people alike in this world and yet i can’t enjoy him because of his sick mind, his paranoia, his extreme jealousy, his extreme sense of defeat at first fall, his absurd impatience, that drives me crazy, his nagging his grumpiness, and that’s only on top of his repetitive abuse… I decided to go back to him and he started coming up with problems that don’t exist and yelling on calls, then he says sorry and claim he was angry at my parents as a lame excuse, it’s just too much for me to handle after all that I went through…its sooooooo much he makes my life miserable, i wake up happy saying sweet things to him he wakes up grumpy and talks negative so all my happiness fades away im ending it right now …the problem he never accepts to leave me
In my experience the more you engage this kind of behavior the worse it will get.
Even if you think you can put up with it, later you may regret what might have been had you made a different decision. I mean missed opportunities for personal growth and healing that may lead to healthier relationships or just the feeling of being safe from abuse (I say just but that’s pretty huge.)
I know sometimes we might feel like if we love someone no matter how they act or what they do, they will do the same for us and that is in itself its own feeling of safety and security. Again, in my experience, it’s worth the trouble to make different choices despite how hard it is at first because you know you are worth it.
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