I want friends again

I feel like what may be missing in my life is friends. I also have this astonishing want for a lavish life and fame… I realized I need to be grateful. But about the friends thing. having friends was what took up most of my time in the past and its what made me happy and sane. I just turned 19, and since I had my first psychotic episode leading up to my sz diagnoses ive just been to paranoid and anxious to have friends. I feel like everyone hates me. I’m extremely confident in my speech but its just a facade and I truly feel inadequate and just anxious all the time. Like f***, I just wish i never started doing drugs. Although maybe id have sz anyway. But I just want to be normal. I find myself avoiding people I know when I’m walking down the street. I automatically assume that people are talking Shi about me when im not around. AND IM ON MEDICATION!!! I wish it would fix this!!! I’m on invega injection 156mg and wellbutrin 75mg (i just started the wellbutrin, thats why the dose is so low). But even if I wasnt paranoid or anxious, I feel like it woildnt matter enough because im often too stressed to talk to people. Like I have thoughts to attend to, or it’s my concentration. Its like id rather think to myself than talk to someone, I want that to change, badly. What can I do? Who had this problem and resolved it? Whats your advice?

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If this is something you are ready for, then you should give it a go. One of my regrets is cutting myself off completely, but I am split 50/50 on whether it was the right thing to do.

@ 19 years old, you should be able to reconnect - and I hope you can.

At 19 it’s young
You have to get yourself well first
Takes time recover
Then when you are well you might have lots of opportunities to get your life back
And do things where you meet people
Also you might want to look at self help book and CBT. This might help you think things differently and in more positive light

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