Sometimes I’ve walked away from friendships because I was paranoid or negative, thinking someone didn’t like me or was against me - or I let something irritating someone did make me end the friendship, when it wasn’t necessary. I think this is my mental illness, schizophrenia. I have been doing this since I was a teenager. I regret it. I’d have a lot more friends if I didn’t walk away or end friendships. I didn’t hear voices until I was 37, so there were no other obvious symptoms that I was schizophrenic. Then it took me six years to get diagnosed.
Knowing I was schizophrenic and getting medicated may have helped me not sabotage friendships. I’m not paranoid like I used to be and I don’t have negative thoughts about people when I don’t see them.
By the way, it was the one voice I still hear that pointed this out for me. Medication won’t get rid of it.
Making and keeping friends is hard for me. It doesn’t help that I don’t smile or laugh much due to my antipsychotic. I only have a handful of friends. Thankfully my husband doesn’t care how many friends I have or we have together. Just wondering if I’m the only one.