Its not just a depression anymore, its more than that. Now all I feel is emptiness, like Gods gonna give me a long life and everyday I will grow more and more tired. They gave me meds, then they gave me stronger meds, well maybe i’m just sick of being drugged up everyday. I’ve done nothing with my life, and now i’m in a position when other people determine the choices I make. I have no power, if I want to do something I have to ask other people, how is that freedom? I have no valuable possessions, I have no motivation, I have no friends, I have no girlfriend, I have no car, I don’t have my own place, I have nothing. I’m paranoid all the time, i’m anxious all the time, i’m empty all the time. I live day by day and every day is the same. I don’t change my mindset, because I cant change my mindset. I want to work again, I want to date again, I want to be in control again, but I just cant. No medicine, or words can change the way I think, sometimes I just feels like i’m here to make other people feel better at the cost of me being miserable.
I’m sorry you feel this way, and even though words don’t help, I know how it feels and it’s properly the biggest pain I’ve ever felt, the emptiness, it’s like an unbearable truth. I feel like I’ve lost complete control over my life, but I try to control the little things I can; like what I eat. It’s not much but it’s a start. I’m still searching for control and freedom, I really hope you find yours. Take care.
I’m very sorry that you feel this way, and i relate to your post a lot. I remember the time i felt most “empty” was when i was way over medicated. Maybe that is playing a factor?
I know how you feel. We’re having a birthday party. For my granddaughter and I’m hiding in my bedroom. I don’t know how to talk to people. I have no motivation to get up and talk to anyone. My life sucks.
maybe, but it helps with the voices.
I also suffer from emptiness. Its worst in the morning when I get up. Its like life goes on and on and feels so meaningless, and when I think of death I get scared, even though I have suicidal thoughts. Its like I am stuck between life and death.
I also feel empty. Its worst in the morning. Its like life is so long and meaningless, it stretches out into a bleak fog, and I am hanging between life and death, scared of living and scared of dying.
wow, my thoughts exactly. I really struggle with this, it makes living hard. I just finished “The Myth of Sisyphus” by Albert Camus, and even though it didn’t cure or free me, it helped me understand, to some extent. You should try and read it.
I was in that position for a long time as well. I got very depressed and felt worthless. But little by little after my lowest point I had to work my way back up.
It wasn’t a lot at first, I just tried to help more. The more I tried to help others, the more I was put in charge of small aspects of my life. I slowly got my control back. Staying med compliant also helped. That helped get me out of the group home and let my family trust me enough to try for my own place one more time.
It was a long hard struggle… being bogged down by depression didn’t help.
I would say… see if your hitting a depressed phase and maybe some support or therapy can help you to your feet a bit and then take one step at a time.
What also helped me was focusing on what I did have… not what I didn’t have. That did help a lot. I didn’t do this alone… I have family, therapy and other help… and meds.
Good luck, I’m rooting for you.