I’m empty. I haven’t felt this horrible in ages. It’s not even horrible I’m not in pain or anything it’s just…absolute emptiness. No hint of happiness or excitement. No emotions at all. Nothingness. I haven’t been able to do anything all night. I have just felt hollow. I would give anything to feel some sort of good or enjoyment. Why can’t I just die? Why do I have to keep living? Too bad I’m not capable of killing myself. Would have done so a long time ago. God and my helpers have been trying to console me but I feel nothing.
I have been feeling a good bit empty and hopeless myself lately too. I know why though for me. It’s about the ambiguity of my future and the undesirable nature of my current position of life. Makes me also want to die. I of course cannot do it ether, mostly because I don’t want my family to hurt from it. I don’t know much to say aside from that we should still retain hope that things can get better. I definitely hope things improve for you.
Maybe you could use a change in med’s. Maybe an antidepressant would help. I’ve been where you are. I used to lay in bed 15 hours a day and day dream about easy ways to commit suicide. What changed that for me was getting off Haldol and getting on Geodon and Seroquel. I feel much better.
I don’t know if meds will help in this situation my life right now anyone would be depressed it’s just not ideal. It’s definitely not as bad as it could be or anything and I’m grateful for what I have, it’s just no 20 something year old wants to be stuck living at their parents house with no career no real job can’t even sign up for classes right now dealing with their marital battles every night. No amount of antidepressant is going to make my situation more fun and happy.
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