And I wasn’t thinking anything for like five seconds at a time. I dunno how much has changed but now I don’t worry about this. Now I try to keep my mind occupied by reading/watching stuff and talking to people
When I drove I worried I’d black out my anxiety was so bad. It was scary.
Have u had panic attacks what r they like
I was messed up from mixing shrooms/meds/coffee/alcohol in the same night.
It really messed up my brain. I was already schizo before but I felt I hadn’t satisfied my drug urges yet. And I felt I was like invincible. Because of grandiose stuff. And I was an addict/alcoholic. Happy to say that since starting naltrexone it’s felt like I’ve healed a lot from this experience. I don’t feel like doing drugs anymore or drinking.
I lived in a panic attack for like 2 1/2 years after this experience. I’m still improving but I feel blessed to recover from this as much as I do taking all my meds. Hopefully my brain keeps getting better. Maybe it’ll never be like the neurotypical brain but I’ve made a crazy recovery.
In 2015 and I had been sober a year almost I still couldn’t drive I needed klonopin right before the ride and I couldn’t drive at night or in rain. Life wasn’t easy
I’m glad to hear u have made it in the positive direction! That’s awesome.
Yes grandiose thoughts can make people including me believe we can do a hell of a lot of stuff and be invincible! I used to jog in the park when it was pitch black thinking my spiritual ( psychotic) guide will protect me.
@Jonnybegood is it true that the shroom trip gets rid of your ego for a couple of hours?
Still to this day I do a lot of stupid things because I think I’m invincible. Or no one would hurt me. I’ve been robbed a buncha times and fortunate with other situations. When I went off my meds last September I got in a lot of Trouble. But not with the law have I got in trouble…since May 2011. Trying to stay out of trouble though. I don’t mean to do it but I’ve been reckless but every day I seem to mature and get wiser and act less psychotic and such.
Do you have sza bipolar type?
I’m sza depressive. I haven’t even watched tele since 2016 due to it. Except for desperate housewives and one series of big bro a while back.
I don’t know I had crazier experiences with lsd than magic shrooms. Other than this one but this one just messed up my life rather than seeing crazy things or losing my ego. I remember during this trip saying to my self “I’m gonna ask my religion class teacher if he believes in god or not…I’m gonna ask him!!!” Then come the next day I didn’t want to. Seriously mixing meds with psychedelics or a psychotic illness in general is the worst thing we can do. I think lsd triggered my illness. When I was coming down my friend called me up on the phone and said “your ego!!” And I said “I know!!” This just drove me NUTS for years. You need your ego. I loved/respected these drugs but also afraid of them at this point
Yeah I’m
Bipolar type lol
As I re-read this, I now see you were scared that your brain might really be stopping. That is frightening. The brain can be full of constant worry or it can be somewhat peaceful. I don’t believe the brain would stop during waking hours. It brings to mind the question of how the brain works. Do we think on a rhythm?
I don’t want to miss the bigger issue which is the mental suffering you describe.
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