my brains aren’t what they used to be after 40 years of sz.
i can read well but slowly and i can function on my job etc. but i used to be sharper by far.
this bothers me a whole lot and i need to take the time to read a whole lot but who has the time concentration or patience?
judy
So was I. I used to be considered very bright. Now, I’m dumb as a box of rocks after almost 40 years of sza and sza meds.
I used to be smart too. I know how you feel. I forget so much now and I get anxiety when I try to read very much.
It bothers me sometimes, but sometimes I think I’m more at peace for not thinking so much, figuring, remembering. I used to like to debate various topics. I saw it as a verbal wrestling match and I wanted to figuratively get my opponent pinned to the floor. I’m too tired and mentally beaten-up for that now.
I haven’t been able to read for many years. I used to be a very avid reader. I also often can’t find the right words. Its frustrating.
I can relate. Earlier this year I spoke with an old friend I had not heard from in years. He mentioned he had a son now and how his son was growing up so fast and learning new thing. I told my friend, “You were always pretty bright, you’re son is too.” My friend replied, “Thanks that means a lot to me, you’re the smartest person I know.” I almost scoffed. I was like, “Well, sheee-et.” But I didn’t. Instead I said thanks. These days I certainly don’t feel very bright anymore.
It’s been a couple of years since I was on a psychiatric hold, voluntary or involuntary. When I’m on hospitalized, people usually compliment me on my intelligence. My thoughts are that they just compliment everyone there. One time we were playing a game of Trivial Pursuit from the 60’s. The therapeutic coordinator was there and he legitimately complimented my intelligence. His eyes grew wide because I knew the answer to almost every card. Truth is that with Google around, it doesn’t really matter what I might know. If there is ever a post apocalyptic world in which the internet no longer exists, then I might be able to tell you the length of Tyrannosaurus Rex teeth but then, just like now, it wouldn’t really matter.
Besides hallucinating in five or six languages I don’t get any benefit of any intellectual advantage.
I dont think i ever was. You can tell when the schizophrenia hit me though by looking at my university grades. I went from getting 90s to withdrawals within 4 years. Something happened, i didnt notice though until way later.
I still like figuring out how stuff works tho, its a hobby.
i read when i can. i want my intelligence to be sharp again.
judy
I used to be very smart.
Now i am slow. I don’t know if it’s the schizophrenia or antipsychotics
I’m an avid reader while psychotic for some reason. I guess I search for meaning. I bet you are still really smart you just have some extra obstacles now.
I’ve never been ‘street smart’
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