Before all this happened to me I was smart and now I’m stupid. I’m frustrated and angry with myself and embarrassed.
Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone else feel this way or am I the only one…
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Welcome to the SZ world…
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I guess I was considered smart at one time, but I think most people think I’m dumb now.
My general knowledge is not great.
I seem to lose interest in knowing things or motivation to find out things of general knowledge. eg, bitcoins I have NO idea wat that is,or the FTSE idk wat that is either, and numerous other things.
I do get obsessive about some topics in life thou, eg basically nutrition if we are talking about the major chunk of my life.
even then I don’t know much, but I know some things, though my memory is not necessarily the sharpest tool atm
also my parents did not teach me much in terms of general knowledge
I feel that SZA has dumbed me down
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I’ve suffered a cognitive decline for sure. I can’t read a book now due to concentration issues etc.
But I’m wiser at least. And surviving (so far!).
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Don’t give up on trying with books, I thought I was unable to for almost 3 years, and I pretty well was unable to for that time, but as of this Sunday til now I have read over 500 pages!
It is possible @everhopeful , I admit though even this week I have found it impossible though to concentrate on and make sense out of the lyrics to a new album, even after 3 listens I can’t do it. But it’s like magic now, I can somehow read again! I urge you to periodically try because it may just be temporary funk as it was for me.
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Keep trying. Make anything work.
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I think I’ve had some kind of learning malfuction due to sza.
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I have had this too since SZ but I still persist because sometimes stuff gets through.
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In some ways I am embarrassingly stupid. I have ways of compensating, but my stupidity has always been a problem for me.
I emptied and cleaned the vacuum cleaner today. I think I’m a friggin genius.
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I haven’t actually been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, but I have almost every symptom, so I will be referring to the time I entered my first active state of psychosis. I have noticed a dramatic decline in cognitive function. My focus and concentration (which was already poor) have gotten worse, my ability to process thoughts is affected, to form coherent sentences/use proper grammar/syntax, my reasoning and rationale is not as clear, the way I process new information is completely different and it’s much more difficult for me to pick up new concepts, I have to study and work much harder to maintain straight As in school (I don’t know how I still manage to pull that off, to be honest), and even my writing style has gotten so terrible and incoherent almost. I believe that it’s all due to my insecurities about the voices being in my head, doubting me, criticizing me, etc. When I write papers for school, they criticize every word that I write and it’s so hard for me to get anything done.
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I have those voices too! When I had exams, voices would tell me don’t study because you will fail anyways plus I have concentration, attention and memory issues. I get easily distracted since my sz symtoms at 17 y.o. Other hallucinations like a baby cry or my mom calling me were also distracting me from studying. I still finished my bachelor physio degree without failing a single course but my GPA went from 3.7 to 3.05 now. I wanted to transfer to medicine or pharmacy, all I needed was to finish my 3 year bachelor with 3.7 GPA minimum.
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yes i was in accounts and now i dont even know how to add up its embarrassing and frustrating its like ive been labotomised the info has been erased from my brain x
Yes, mine always tell me I’m going to fail and try to give me the wrong answers and trick me. Or, if I’m writing, they accuse me of plagiarism and get me so unsure of myself I can barely finish some assignments. They almost caused me to fail my history class last semester. I almost gave up on a paper worth 25% and an exam worth 25% because they were so bad. In the end, I got a 94 on my paper and a B or C on the exam and finished with an A, but I genuinely thought I would fail. The interference with my school has been one of the most troubling parts of my delusions and hallucinations. And the fact that my mental capacity is diminishing so much, so quickly.
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I feel for you, the worst thing is growing more stupid, but i experienced the “stupidity” of my own SZ worse when stressed. When i’m in calm, stabil situations of life, i can read again, talk coherent, making plans. Hope you will too. Don’t be angry with yourself, don’t push yourself too hard.
That said, i’m in a stupid state of mind/life 
right now
I graduated with a bachelors degree for psychology. I found it to be real rewarding. I cherish my accomplishment.
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I also took psychology courses as electives and they’re fun.
Are you able to work? I quit 15 different jobs and now I gave up on working.
I worked in at lot of different jobs from a physio to a videogame tester. I quit them after a couple of weeks without giving notice to anyone. I even worked as an accountant technician.
My CV and background is so bad now that no one will ever employ me.
I feel stupid too.
I make the same mistakes over and over again.
As always I tell myself that it’s the last time.
As always I kick my own ass for details that slip pass me.
As always my issues return right when I think they’re gone.