I used to be mad as hell I got schizophrenia

boy was I pissed at first when I first finally realized in a stable mind that I had sz. It grew to deep depression. at the core of depression I heard, is anger.

anyways…that was about 99. come a long way, baby.

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I’m glad you’ve come a long way. :smiley:

I don’t think I’ve ever been depressed or angry specifically about sza. Mostly, I am either accepting or feeling like I’m a fraud who doesn’t really have it.

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I just got depressed about all the sh-it I had done while psychotic.

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It didn’t have to end with a breakdown in public with cops driving me to the hospital. With rumors being spread about me. With everyone talking sh-it behind my back.

People laugh at me. They bully me. Everyone is taking joy in being ruthless against me.

Neighbors say I’m damaged.

I didn’t deserve this.

People are fu-cking stupid and I hate them.

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Oh man. That’s so wrong. You definitely don’t deserve that. People can be judgy a**es.

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@Speedy that sounds like paranoia to me…are you sure your neighbors laugh at you?

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It’s not paranoia, it’s not a delusion. My neighbors talk about me. Mainly because I don’t work.

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how do you know??

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Because I hear them talking about me outside my window. I hear everything they say. The house is poorly built so I hear them.

I know it sounds like a delusion. But it isn’t. My neighbors are stupid. And people say “there’s that psychotic guy”. People laugh. They say he’s mentally ill etc.

When I was at the pub a couple of months ago a group of women talked about me, they all looked at me and said he’s mentally ill.

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nope, can’t be…that’s delusion, man…nobody is laughing at you…and you can’t hear what ppl say through a window. just trying to help you man, don’t be mad.

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Don’t believe me then.

I live in a small apartment complex. I live on the first floor. People stand outside my window (on the street) and talk trash about me. People walk by the very same street and shout things outside my window. They shout “psychosis”.

I can distinguish between my voices and real voices.

I have been completely alienated from people because of trash talk. Nobody wants to have anything to do with me.

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no need to be angry…like I said, I am trying to help you…it all sounds a lot like nick77 and roxanna talking about their neighbors…common delusion I guess…no I don’t think this is happening.

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Well, don’t believe me then. I don’t care.

I have this nagging feeling that people talked about me on social media after I had my psychotic break. The trash talk spread so fast. But for that I don’t have proof.

I just know that I have been discriminated because of my illness.

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yep, you’re mad…sorry…I won’t say any more…one day you will figure it out I hope.

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Can’t you entertain yourself with the thought that this really happened. What then?

I won’t say it’s happening because I am almost positive it isn’t happening…you are needing to tell this to your pdoc.

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Well then, let’s leave it at that then.

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@Speedy I’ve had a lot of neighbors talk ■■■■ about me too in my building. I try not to tell many people I have sz, but unfortunately a lot of people already know.

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@Montezuma the blind leading the blind…you both are wrong.

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The thing is I really don’t care about trash talk that much. But when a bunch of people harass me (by shouting things outside my window) it’s really taking a toll on my mental health. I wish I could somehow put up a camera, then I would have proof.

I can’t tell anyone either. If I told let’s say the cops they would only assume like jukebox did that it’s the sz. Or anyone else for that matter!

If I only could prove somehow, camera or recording that this is really happening. Then people would shut up.

If anyone knows anything about surveillance stuff then pm me. I would gladly prove to you that this is happening.

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