I think kids are born loving people

But for me, my older brother and sister didn’t want me and all attempts to love them were rejected. It gave me an unhappy outlook. I guess sibling relationships aren’t a good measure of social potential. But, for many, it is the first experience.

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We spend our early childhoods learning how it is to be a person - our first social group is our family

Btw - What’s going on in a baby’s brain from 0 - 1 year old ?

Cuddling. hugging, eating and sleeping.

My youngest sister is exactly like that… I’m the eldest of three girls and the middle one was my favourite sister

We were a bit like twins…. I just didn’t understand the new one
A baby, to a 4 yr old is a leap

Yes. I think my brother and sister just didn’t want to share mother’s attention with me. About the age difference, I also wonder if they really knew I was a living soul.

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I remember mum saying ‘isn’t she silly’ or something like that
‘Isn’t she silly of course being a mums way if making an effort for me to show an intrest’

I just found her very silly and unrelateable
By the time I was interested enough to show an interest properly, I was schizophrenic
I think we were close for a few weeks When she was about 12

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I thought that too until I started watching the show Supernanny.

I do remember both younger sisters being so perfect that there was no way I would want to change them…. Impossibly beautiful impossibly perfect… unteachable because what could I teach them?I felt out of place and and unqualified To lead in any way

Wow, I’m sure their perfection was all in your mind. You’d probably feel better to know it just wasn’t true.

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Yeah maybe mums feel like that as well…
Maybe that’s why mums are so useless

Parent in child

Thinking mom is useless is dangerously lonely.

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She got better
After becoming a therapist when I was about 19

Had a second childhood with schizophrenia a few times

Being the youngest is lonely

Moms often cling to their last child. My mom wouldn’t admit it, though.

Good grief. @chordy, you’re well into your 70s. How long are you going to tote this baggage around? Move on with life!

My age is exactly why I don’t “move on”.

Whatever. I know if I were you, I’d be tired of clinging to the past and whatever perceived injustices occurred. Everyone has been treated unfairly at some point, but you persist and insist on holding onto the toxicity. Can’t imagine hauling all that baggage around is easy or pleasant.

I only know that when I avoided issues, I was not fit to survive. I admit I’m a basket case.

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