I think i have another psychosis left in me - RANT

I was told to slow down by a psychiatrist… this was when I was involved with a theatre production I wrote and co produced at Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I was told to slow down ASAP warning was perhaps in May or April… so i haven’t really managed to slow down yet except for the odd week.

While in Edinburgh (9 months of preparation - 12 day mental busy work) I heard I had been awarded funds by the national lottery for my next play.
this one will be with professional actors, a large cast of community actors.
sorry if you’ve replied before to a similar email but the

i have taken 2 / 3 days off this weekend and still i am thinking like:

my bag is like a prayer book when i carry it… or I twist my hair a bit in the car… or i get snappy with my family (and eventually lose trust if it goes a bit further, but not sure … the thoughts and attitudes are warning signals.

my ‘new’ most noticeable change is i feel i am outwardly showing that i have a lank facial expression. I feel like i give up with the stress and just stare ahead - i did this all day the other day

i took 2 days off almost totally then the weekend hit and i relaxed (first time i gave myself a weekend off in a long time). Then this monday morning feeling of not wanting to get back to work

i was recently advised to get help

i don’t know if i should ask an actor i’m working with to co produce.

he’s been very unwell - lost a ton of weight and i didn’t catch what he said was wrong - (he’s difficult to understand - he mumbles quite badly)

He seems really nice. I think he could help if he’s winning and will agree to another job alongside the other.

i should write him an email.

He’s the male lead in a play focused on the lead female.

Still even with a production assistant, I’ll still have till June to stress adding up to 1.3yrs of stress which is the outside of what i could handle for psychosis to hit - before completion of even a 2nd year.

Thanks if you got this far x

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Hey @MeghillaGorilla1, this is a supportive website, if you don’t have anything nice to say please don’t intervene.

@Thanna, please give yourself a break. You work too hard

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Good mental health is all about a balance of work, rest and play. Socializing’s important too so including a balance of time with friends, family and socializing in general. Seriously when was your last holiday?

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I think i need a week off - i just had 3 days off, but yeah thanks

That’s a good point - i don’t know it feels ongoing and huge. For that i need to give myself breaks =
every time i do something that is not work i feel better - but then i spend 2 hrs staring at the screen not getting anything done… burn out

I’ll take a week off, soon, instead of just weekend… at the minute i am just working mornings for a few days

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