Living the dream!

I’m at Edinburgh Fringe, co producing a 25 minute monologue play with the biggest mental health theatre company in the UK… (another similarly themed monologue which the actor of mine has written)

and just heard that i have been awarded a sizeable grant for use in producing a full length play i’ve just spent 3 years writing.

my mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe it.

My psychiatrist has said that i need to slow down and now a year long stressful, time locked project will be happening - i’m totally in shock it’s been a year since my first application.

think he said people with your illness survive by doing something for 2 hrs once a week (avoiding stress etc)

that has been me over years of doing that…
when i do too much i need hospital…



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Almost unbelievable. Tell us more about this mental health theatre.

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Congratulations Chrystal, that’s great! But yeah, don’t stress yourself too much :slight_smile:

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Congrats ! Sounds wonderful :grinning:

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The theatre company is called ‘Stepping Out’ it’s an exclusively mental health rather than specifically substance misuse recovery and they are very well respected. They have done more than 40 productions, but this company is 2 hrs on the train from me. Mark Rylance is their patron.

they helped me to set up’Coffee House Theatre’ and a community bank account / website and application forms to fill in for the Grant.

When i get back I will read all the bumph and get started for a run in a theatre at roughly late September next year.
just hope it doesn’t kill me.

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Are you going to move to be closer to the theatre? How could you possibly to all that commuting?

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Hey I used to live in Edinburgh! Well done on your play. The fringe is great.

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I could not commute like that -
Stepping Out are the established theatre company - they have helped me to set up my own limited company (Coffee House ) so as I can go about getting grants for my ] work
they have sent my mentor to my city a few times and i have a few times been to see their plays or take part in the performance side of their AGM’s

This only adds up to about once every 3 months person to person contact in either direction over the past few years

sorry been getting a little tired…

9 actors whom i have emailed and will be confirming with them in the next few weeks all these are in my city… they have worked with me before and are expecting something to come of it… I’m sure (after some thought) that i am not going to be expected to abandon any of them.

The major complication is that i was tonight just offered that they help me with a production for Edinburgh festival again next year.
on this front i don’t know what to do. . it’s large scale … it would need to be on a bigger stage and it is very difficult to fill a smaller stage with a half full audience…

i honestly don’t know what to do

i had envisaged coming up to Edinburgh in a few years time, it’s been good but a bit like Glastonbury i don’t necessarily want to go every year.

I would love to do it - however i should have gone home 2 days ago is the upshot… i’m near crazy with paranoia that the main guy will be upset and that i’m a sht

I could not handle such an important request at the time i was asked.

the lottery grant is committed for me for this play and stepping out have committed to a lot themselves. For me to come back and say - no i don’t want to do Edinburgh next year - it would be the biggest slap in the face? i suppose i have imagined it in the theatre in my city for 3 years… all the help Stepping Out have offered is huge

You have to say no if it is more than you can do. Explain your already promised responsibilities and they will understand. Not listening to your limits would be foolish.


yes - but in the same case i could not have had a monologue performance without them… in Edinburgh this year

They took over the marketing the money, the advertising the press release, all things which would immediately fall to me or to me to delegate - which could absolutely as easily be just as stressful.

i feel like it’s going to be a bit of a one way street if i don’t help them

Well, I can’t know what to tell you, not knowing the details but if their business is mental health, it seems like they’d understand that “Cannot.” is also real.

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yeah Chordy - thanks and sorry… I’m not sure if i know the right answer and of course it’s impossible.

I know it requires real strength to say “No” without feeling guilty. There’s a prayer that goes “Make firm my stance.” I think of it often.


Amid the paranoia / also going through the process of realising I’m mediocre

which is basically because i don’t work hard enough

Morning xx I just haven’t got a clue what’s best now
Maybe on my own I can’t function without a lot of their help xx

Needing their support - I understand that.

It’s the most beautiful British city X one of the best cities ever
Loved it when I went before the festival
At the festival it was just hectic

Yeah it is real busy in the festival. I must have lived in about a dozen flats across the city over the years. Is where I call home.

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