I’m 10 years out of hospital, 10 years sane after a severely serious prognosis age 28-32 time
I’m now 41.
And still fragile and will always be fragile.
I haven’t really pushed any limits apart from with exercise since 2003-2004 after that I was in hospital for 9 months
I’m one of these middle aged/had a lot of psychosis at an earlier time in life kind of people, I guess
At the same time as recognising that I have that constitutional lack of skills / energy / self esteem this comes with long term disabled
I truly see myself being able to slowly cope with having a job agin and perhaps get more resilient
Ay there’s the rub
I’ve been compliant, taken care of myself and have only done volunteering short term, not studied anything major
A 6 week high stress project, pitting a play on - was the closest thing I have had to being insane by the end of it
Similarly, holidays also leave me f****d
I’m going away in 5 weeks to visit the fringe in Edinburgh for 8 nights performance 11 night staying - a play I wrote and am co producing it
I’ve been warned that I need to watchmyself for the next few weeks, but I’m going against that and just accepted work
I’m sure I will be out of a job if I pull out now! I made a mistake and had to be replaced yesterday / supposedly to be my first day
voices - have had a conversation with them - not that normal for me
I’ve been more fearful and have now messed up this work - I’ll be taken off their books - still j know my family will probably force me not to go!!
5 long journeys in a month - might not cope
As well as a 12 day festival of theatre / comedy etc happening 3-14th August