Honestly it’s an issue I need to address at some point. I guess I haven’t addressed it because I’m just so used to it. I heard somewhere that people who don’t have good self esteem will allow themselves to be treated badly by other people. I would like to break that cycle. Anyway how’s your self esteem?
I struggle with self loathing all the time
I sometimes struggle with self loathing
I never struggle with self loathing
what exactly is self loathing
I just love to participate in polls of any kind but have no opinion
I’m mixed on this. I always hate my body and how broken it is and by extension how broken I am. But then I also have pretty decent self confidence in certain situations. I kind of feel like self loathing and self esteem aren’t necessarily opposites. If that makes any sense.
Self loathing is the main motivation for nearly everything I do. I keep trying super hard to prove to myself that I’m worth something. My therapist has given me homework aimed at getting me to stop this, and try to find motivation in loving myself and wanting to share that love. It’s hard work. I worry that if I start being happy with who I am, I’ll stop trying to do better,
It’s hard to love yourself when you’re not receiving a lot of love from others. Not that it’s their job to love you or anything, but it’s often hard to separate their reaction to your disorder/behavior from how you should react to your own disorder/behavior.
I used to when I was younger care more in general about other people. But after so many years of being treated badly and ignored by people I began to stop caring and become more shallow. The only people I still care about are my immediate family and a couple of relatives. Everyone else abandoned me or made fun of me with prank calls after I got schizophrenia so my attitude has become beyond shallow towards everyone that wasn’t there for me when I was down. I know it’s wrong but I just don’t care anymore