Most of the time I am not even looking at people so I find it a struggle to to read body language, tone of voice and peoples intentions, and often mistake them for negative things, and its just a habit I need to break. As I spent 16 years of my life being bullied at school day in day out, the only thing I got from that is people don’t like me. People don’t want to be in my space. so I read everyone’s intention that way. its a hard habit to break this negative thinking.
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I have a similar issue
After they gave me the ASD diagnosis I stopped even bothering to try as you say it can be easily misunderstood
Now I will bluntly and abruptly ask out right if I am not sure
My strength is with speech and writing
All the other stuff is a nightmare to keep up with and exhausting
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Yes I express myself better in writing than when talking myself. I am so fed up trying to understand people I just assume the negative and that kind of thinking takes a lot of energy out of me.
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I want to get to a place where I don’t care what people think, I have a long way to go and a lot of work to do.
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You’re a good person
Try out some different ways of handling this
Something will come up that you can use to try and take the sting out of the stress related to it
I was also badly treated until a few years after school
This is why I like being an adult and hated being a child
People leave me alone now
Even though sometimes it feels like they’re still doing it
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Same here. I struggle with this mightily
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Yea, it’s tough for me to gauge people and their motivations as well. I think I’ve run into a lot of unsavory characters as a result.
Sucks a lot, and now I just tend to stay away from most folks entirely.
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Among those reckoning they may be autistic It seems to be the ‘in thing’ to flaunt their masking credentials. I find it extremely hard in real time to process body language , and make adjustments based on it. For better or worse, I am as I am. My default position, due to the bullying related trauma, is - that person is likely to bully and mock me, unless he/she gives very clear indications that that isn’t the case.
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Sometimes I wonder if I really do have autism and if it wasn’t just the early stages of schizophrenia that got me diagnosed as autistic when I was a child.
Atp, I’m not bothered what’s wrong with me anymore - I just need to find a way to survive or achieve what I want. Social anxieties or worries don’t bother me as much as they did in the past because I avoid social situations as much as I possibly can - things like keeping a relationship, whether friendship or familial relation - I just can’t do and if I could, I lose interest so quickly I don’t bother anymore.
Only people who want to be in my life stay in my life, I make little effort but I am thankful there are people like family members who make an effort with me
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I’m an excellent reader of people.
I can size someone up in under a minute and decide whether or not I like them.
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Same here @Patrick but on occasion it might take longer
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There’s definitely something about me people don’t like (in person) I can’t change that. I can only change the way I view myself too.
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Most people don’t warm up to me either.
It’s probably because at my baseline I’m asocial
Between my low moods and medication use I’m not so animated (flat affect)
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I can’t read people either, though, I don’t have autism. I always end up either not judging or judging too much. I make false perceptions of individuals. That can quickly transition to delusional beliefs.
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People sometimes mistake my coping mechanisms for social discomfort for coldness or conceit.
I dislike people who don’t take time to listen or who interrupt my speaking. I rarely interrupt others.
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