I really look down on myself

Hi all.

I’m really good at being my own worst critic. It dosent happen when I’m by myself it’s when I’m talking to people who I’m trying to please.

For instance I have this one guy who helps me with the cattle and we always have long conversations before and after the job.

The thing is during these conversations I always seem to be my own worst enemy, and self depricating. For instance, we were talking about raising cattle and I said to him that ‘I’m no good at rasing muscley cattle I always get them too fat’ or ‘Iv been worried about this test for two months, thanks for the help’,

but the thing is I AM actually good rasing cattle and getting them muscley too, I had just told him the worst answer to make him pity me! And also this guy is an alcoholic so he would be telling this to all the farmers in the area (as he works with them too), it’s embarrassing and degrading! I always make a fool of myself or don’t look professional

How can I stop this when I’m talking to people?? It only seems to happen to people I want to please or don’t want to loose.

@ExploringWalker what do you think can you help me?

I think you are thinking too much. :smiley:

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The alcoholic guy I told this too will tell everybody I’m a useless farmer? He’s a low life I don’t mind saying so I shouldn’t have been trying to please him

I evoke pity in people sometimes also thanks for pointing that out. On one medication I didn’t like I was telling everyone I had schizophrenia and now I don’t mention it. The only advice I can think of is try to stay positive. Try to stay confident and be sure to give yourself credit where credit is due.

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I make people pity me! It’s patathetic

Thank you, il try. It’s just in the moment I get so nervous and my automatic reaction is to evoke pity from others

If it were me I would try to catch myself a take a pause to gather my thought and rethink what I want to say. I think it is alright to say that things are going good and working out.

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I will try this! It will be difficult! I dont want to come across as cocky either?, but I know I should be assertive and confident

There are no easy answers. Ask yourself what you wanted from him. If pity is what you seek you might want reassurance. That is an emotional need you’re not fulfilling somehow.

This is mind reading stuff so like I can’t read your mind but what is it you’re seeking in these emotionally vulnerable ways you reach out?

Some people see it as a sign of trust and such, some people see it as an opening to exploit. This is just what these moments can mean.

How do you know he’s a drunkard? Did he tell you? Is this information and trust recipricole(Sp) if so then I doubt you have much to worry about him telling on you. Men don’t usually gossip, but sometimes they can be jerks just like women, it depends on the group of people he’s with and if they’re good eggs.

Just be more confident, fake it, till you make it is a truism, your false bravado can turn into true self worth, just don’t do it at the sake of others. Find something you do you’re genuinely proud of, and toot your own horn.

Emotional depth is complex and I find that men don’t acknowledge the complexity and the part of themselves that seeks satisfaction on an emotional level, but are willing to dig through the weeds of what is emotionally bothering them, and really take machete to deeply rooted weediling problems that make them selves feel bad.

I have depression, I really work on this stuff with myself, but I can’t change my emotional gear shift from this crying depressed state of moodieness without chemical assistance, and I’m going to the doctor to change the medicine or dose this next coming tuesday, and I know enough about my problems and my emotional needs that I shouldn’t be as sad as I am because my current needs are met, and my future problems aren’t here yet.

If you look up to this person maybe you’re trying to tell him you admire his work ethic, but you can’t say it without putting yourself down etc.

I can shoot a different scenario at you for any idea you could have but generally this is gonna make the most sense if you just figure out like what emotion you’re craving when you’re around this person?

Emotions and your desire to eat certain foods but you’re not sure what yet, are kind of similar, talk them out until you find something that sounds like you might be hankering for it or sounds good and that might be whats up.

Emotions are complex and such so it could be any number of things, I don’t got all day to yabber but you know, this is a problem you have, its on you to invest in a solution.

Cheers, and please feel better. If you think about it logically you’ll problem find’n’s its own solution quite often.

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