I really don't know what to do any more

The truth is that I am at my breaking point.
There are so many changes that have happened in my life.

I lost so much.

There is so much that I can take and I am really tried.

The Gods honest truth is that I am very tired now.

When I seek out help from my therapist she abandons me.

I cannot even find one caring or loving family person that is willing to listen to me - my entire family turned their backs on me.

I really miss my loving companion - my dog.
The pain of losing him is just too much for me.
I miss him so much.

I don’t have friends any more.

I had a very bad experience at the last psych Hospital that I went to.
They were abusive and I became worse with every passing day.

I am having a very hard time finding Housing.

It just seems that people don’t care.

Last night I broke down.

I am now starting to feel all of this emotional pain, it’s just way too much for me to handle.

I really have reached the end.

Last night I went into the bathroom reached for a pair of scissors and cut my wrist twice.

I then went into the kitchen drawer and searched for a sharp knife but my father stopped me.

He attempted to call 911 but I talked him out of it.

I really don’t want to go the Hospital again.

There is so much that I can take.

1 Like

We care for you Wave, please don’t try to harm yourself again, some solution will come up. Just be patient, you know this is temporary and you’ll find a better solution for yourself. :heart:

5 Likes

Honestly I’ve been there, @Wave. I think sometimes life is nothing but loss and wonder what the point is…but ghrn I just keep waking up and things get better. I think you should reach out for help. There are people who care. :heart:

2 Likes

Take a break and stay calm.

2 Likes

Do not harm yourself, the life is worth living, I remember when I took a razor blade and attempted suicide, but I survived, here are I am years after writing to you and other in the world, everything is not hopeless, when everything seems to be lost new doors will open to bring some light in our lives, think me when I lived alone in my auto in America, I had created a list of 20 ways to take my own life, but I never carried out any of those plans and the life turned out to be more positive and worth living, try to find some positive and bright spots in your life, let people to help you.

2 Likes

These thoughts and feelings will pass. They are temporary. Slow down, take some deep breaths, try to clear your head for a bit. Can you go for a short walk to get away for a while?

2 Likes

Maybe you should tell everybody you know that you are looking for a place to stay. That was how I got into a boarding house some time ago…by word of mouth via a friend of a friend.
You can also Google for boarding places in your city.

Please be strong for yourself. You will get get through this you will see. We all care so much for you.

2 Likes

Thank you @Kilimanjaro
My brother is going to talk to someone in my Charity who is in charge of Housing and see what is going on.

Also my CaseManager is going to help me with finding good Housing.

Thank You everyone - I appreciate all of your support and advice.

The truth is that I am pretty sure that my depression has returned.

I do have a lot of things and major life changes going on - these most likely triggered my mood swings and Depression.

I will be working with my case manager to find a good therapist for me and I will be seeing my psychiatrist soon.

I won’t give up.

4 Likes

Try to take care of yourself. Do the little things:

Like good hygiene.
Eat well.
Get some exercise.
Get 8 hours of sleep.
Try to do one thing nice for yourself everyday.

3 Likes

Yes @Skims it’s hard to do these things in such a stressful environment but it’s not impossible.

I’ve been eating like crap lately and not walking.

I am going to try to eat healthier and walk more.

My sleep is fine.

2 Likes

Some positive music … spark .

1 Like

Woa. Geez. Don’t do that again wave. Please.

Are you on an antipsychotic currently? And on a therapeutic dose?

Don’t get fooled by the disease. It can make things seem impossible. You’ll get your housing sorted, it’ll just take time. You’ll get a new therapist, it’ll just take time.

2 Likes

Hey Thanks @everhopeful and welcome back
I am doing better now Honestly I think that it was the extra caffeine that destabilied my moods
I am on Risperdal and doing well with it

1 Like

Glad you’re doing better! Stay away from the caffeine in that case. A lot of people here including me can’t handle a lot of coffee.

1 Like

@Wave , i’m sorry. I was in a depression funk about two months ago. I would cry for no reason and contemplate suicide. I talked to my pdoc and he increased the dose of amitriptyline. it is hard to get over those negative feelings but try not to let it drive you to self harm or suicide. you will find a new therapist soon, hopefully a good one. if you are going through a clinic then you can request a different one if the first one you get you don’t connect with.

1 Like