Pro tip : If you are going to punch a wall, whip out that stud finder quick. I punched a wall in my teens and landed right on a stud. Hand puffed up like a blow fish.
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Ouch! I bet so. I’ve never punched a hole in the wall lol
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Lol. I havent tried it since then either. First attempt was an experience I didnt want to repeat.
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I won’t do it again for different reasons. I’m already on thin ice with my current property manager so if she knows I punched a hole in the wall because I was angry at a neighbor I would possibly be served notice to leave.
Hooray for the internet because I learned about drywall patch kits and I found them on Amazon and put a patch over the large hole and spackled it and found some paint that matches it and now if you didn’t already know it was there you wouldn’t be able to tell anything was wrong with the wall.
And I won’t do it again because it cost me $24 and I don’t want to get kicked out.
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right Grookey, and you can choose how to handle it.
with my ex boyfriend who held a knife to my throat, i never imagined it would reach that level. my ex after him was never violent or verbally abusive, and i never imagined that he would steal my clothes and money… but he did, actively.
you can try and make your partner change; to be more sensitive, to try see things your way. you can do this through dialogue or even couples counselling. however, if it the dynamic of the relationship starts to tilt towards Partner A is making all the effort to “fix”/change Partner B, it is still unhealthy and is almost definitely not worth the effort. i am really trying to be sensitive to your case here, and i know that not everything is black and white, but we can’t just make people be who we want them to be.
in this case it is even more exhausting and unhealthy as i believe you are SzA (?) and the responsibility for your partner to respect your boundaries/emotions is NOT yours. a person with a serious MI should not have to take on the burden of educating a person whose comments can be hurtful and triggering. what’s worse is that your partner knows that you have MI (!!!) so they really should be past this by now.
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My partner has MI as well, we had a good conversation yesterday and I’m feeling better, I think the comment kind of sent me into a trauma response bc my exes hardcore abuse started with these jokes. He understands my pov and I think he probably truly was trying to joke and it didn’t land well on me, he was receptive to it. I’m so sorry to hear about your exes being abusive, it really can leave you feeling like a shell of a person
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maybe in Grookey’s situation i am junping the gun, but i stand by what i said in others’ cases.
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now i know that he has MI the context has changed a little. i also think this thread has evolved and has the potential to become an open discussion on relationships between people with MI. your little vent turned into a really valuable discussion grookey!
i’m glad to hear that you guys were able to have a conversation about it. maybe the other day he changed the topic after quickly apologising was because he felt embarrassed. just the fact that the two of you spoke more about it is a good sign. however, all the other things i said to you in this thread i still believe; if you start to feel like youre putting all the effort in, it’s not going to work.
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Definitely agree! I am not looking for any abusive or one sided relationships. I appreciate your understanding here, it’s been an upsetting week for sure
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When I first saw your post, I asked hubby if he’d ever joke around like that. He started by saying he’d never say something like that to me, but he did note that he could see it being said to a bro-type personality if he was joking around. I don’t know if that helps. I’m really, really glad y’all were able to talk it out.
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My first impression was that it sounded like he was trying to be playful sarcastic. Like saying one thing but meaning the opposite that you’re really cute or pretty. But i wasnt there and sometimes when someone says something it can come out sounding different or askewed to how they meant it. Hope you two work things out and if it happens more often I would see that as a sign things are not working out well.
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