I realised today that a year has passed

School and Work
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I realized today that a year has passed since I paid for the antivirus. The antivirus isn’t important, but it shocked me that a year has passed since I got it and it feels like only 3 months. It made me realize how little I have done with my time. I am thinking about volunteering somewhere full time for a year, so I can get a reference and then applying for a job in a similar field. I want to take control of my life and get back into work, and then save for uni.

My mum doesn’t seem to think this is a good idea, but I think it is…

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I haven’t done anything of significance the last 13 years because I’ve been psychotic.

We live in a society where we measure ourselves in achievements. Do you want to do things because you want to work, or is it society talking?

Do you feel mentally stable to start volunteering?

Are you in a position where the stressors of a work life doesn’t impact your wellbeing?

Is there something else you can do to test yourself on how you handle stress?

I’m not trying to discourage you. But your mental wellbeing comes first.

I know I couldn’t do it. I’m too fragile.

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Yeah, I want to work! I want to earn my own money and go travelling or fo to uni.

But, yes, I am on edge whenever I’m outside the house.

I think climate change will eventually mean there will be no more welfare.

I want to have a profession that I can fall back on in case times get tough.

I guess you’re right though, my mental health comes first. The voices usually get bad when I start working or studying.

But I am sick of achieving nothing. Maybe I could try volunteering part time….

Or I could charge the old man I garden for an hourly rate. That would be an intro to working..

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You have already achieved a great deal. You are here talking about working. Part time sounds good to test the waters.

Didn’t you study biology?

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Maybe if I increase my meds or change them, the voices will go away. Thanks for replying to so many of my thoughts speedy. I almost never give advice on here because I am so out of touch with the way things are , like relationships and stuff

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This needs to be controlled. Which meds are you on?

Can you study a distance course?

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I’m studying high school biology. But I’ve done one years worth of biology classes over 2 years and I may even have to stretch it to 3, because I have no motivation…

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Quietiapine 50mg

And risperidone 12mg

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Which meds have you tried?

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Just these and paliperidone and clopixol. Clopixol, I had almost no voices but ZERO emotions

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I kinda feel like I need to jump into the deep end and learn to swim…

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Yes, I had the same experience with clopixol. No voices, no paranoia but it made me stiff and shaky.

50mg quiatepine is mainly used for sleep.

Have you spoken to your doc about putting another drug as an add- on treatment?! Or increasing quiatepine?

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It doesn’t work like that for us.

We need established routines, coping skills, and the feeling of safety.

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No, I havn’t. I don’t want to get dependant on a high dose or have no emotions

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Does quiatepine dull your emotions?

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Only when I double dose it

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Do you take it before sleep?

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Yeah 151515115151

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Ok! As I said, you need to do something if you are troubled by voices. Are the voices bad? Can you function despite having them?

Have you tried zyprexa? It makes you fat but you need to outweigh pros with cons. I gained a lot of weight on it but it keeps me somewhat sane.

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My voices only get bad if I am stressed or drink too much coffee or am exhausted or start something new like working or studying.

I can’t work when the voices are bad.

I do the minimum to stay sane, eat healthy, exercise, volunteer in one on one jobs , buy groceries, cook and minimal cleaning.

Ok, I will think about zyprexa..

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